A Rambler

Okay, I'm going to be completely honest here. The main reason for this post is because I wanted to post a new belly photo, but if I don't have the post to motivate me, then I'm usually too much of a lazy bum to take update photos (or to get Matthew to do it!) I've been meaning to take this photo since Tuesday (when the baby was officially 'half-baked' as I jokingly call it!) but I've been putting it off.

Then tonight I was like, "Hey self, don't you want a photo of what you looked like half-way along?" to which I responded, "Good idea, self! I can't miss this opportunity because by next week I'll look different than now, and that just won't do!" (yes, I have conversations with myself sometimes. It helps me to reason things out! Please let me know if I'm crazy or if there are other people - sane people preferably - who do this too.)

So here is the new and improved belly photo for week 20 day 4:


I like the photo because today is the first day I've been able to wear this shirt without feeling like it's hiding my pregnant belly. It's a maternity shirt, and clearly made for people further along than I am (or at least than I was when I bought it a month ago) but today I felt like it accentuated my belly, which was a nice feeling!

Okay, so I know I said I wouldn't post for a while about the name, but we've pretty much completely decided on a first name, so why not spill the beans? I know of no-one really close to me who might steal it in the next few months and make it awkward if I used the name anyway, so here it goes. We've decided to name our son Elijah, or Eli for short. I like the name, and always have, and it's all the nicer that Matthew was the one who suggested it (although that wasn't nice at first. In the beginning I was like, "No fair! We end up going with a name Matthew picked rather than one of my top 5!" I'm ridiculous, and I know it, but the good thing with me is that I always come around! Well, almost always.) The only slightly disappointing thing is that we'll never be able to use the name Elliott because the short forms are both Eli. It's okay though. I think if I didn't feel so strongly that this baby's name just IS Elijah, then maybe I'd be sadder, but there you have it.

We haven't decided on a middle name yet, however. I'm picky with names and the way they flow! Anyone have any ideas as to a middle name that fits with Elijah? I had always had Elijah on my baby names list as a middle name because of its syllable structure (goes great with 2-syllable first names) but we don't want to do that. So just post your ideas (if you have any. If there's anyone who reads this! Just kidding, I know there's at least a few of you. :D)

Anyway, here I am going on and on, and there's more to life than names (even if they are pretty cool.)

Matthew and I finished registering at Babies 'R' Us the other day and man it was fun! You can go with the gun into the Toys R Us section and register for things in there too, so we went and registered for Star Wars lego as a bit of a joke (Matt loves it. He plans on growing up with our kids and is thrilled that it's a boy and that he won't have to play with pink lego....hahaha) We also registered for Thomas the Tank Engine figures because I think every kid should be acquainted with Thomas! Matt had model trains growing up too, so we thought it'd be fun to have a train set for Thomas stuff, but MAN that stuff is expensive! Hence the registering.

We've been fortunate enough to not have to buy a crib, as we have a friend with a toddler who will soon be moving up into a big-boy-bed, so that's GREAT. The only difficulty is matching the rest of the pieces of furniture. I love matching things and organization (especially in a small room!) but $750 is just too much to spend on a dresser to me. Especially a child's dresser, when all the stuff we have is hand-me-downs. So Matt's mum had the brilliant idea of buying a used dresser and staining it the colour we want, so now I'm all excited to get everything set up. I've been looking on kijiji and we're going to go look at a dresser and change table tomorrow (combined will be $150, and less than half the price of what one new dresser would be...) so hopefully we can get those stained in the next few weeks (if we buy them) and I can start putting things away. I don't know if it's nesting or just outright excitement, but it's something.

Oh, here's something that's not terribly exciting per se, but that I love. It's my new blog theme! I was getting sick of the green and blue of the last theme, so I jazzed it up a bit and apologized to Matt for making it a little girly (to which he replied, "But it's your blog!" to which I replied, "But it's supposed to be about us!" Deep down though, I'm glad he doesn't care because I really love the background.)

The only other really exciting thing about the week was Aaron (Matt's brother) and Rachelle (Aaron's wife) coming home from Virginia. It's so nice to have them around and to spend time with them again. Rachelle just keeps everything so fresh and fun!

Anyway, I'm going to wrap this up and go to bed I think, as I feel beat, and I want to be nice and awake for a wedding we're going to tomorrow evening!

Introducing Baby Ayden!

Yesterday I became an auntie for the second time and I was so jazzed about it that I made Matt drive 2 hours to my sister's city to spend 3 hours there, and then drive 2 hours home, all in the same day! He was a champ though, he didn't mind a bit.

Here's a picture of the newest addition to the family, little Ayden James:

Little Ayden, not even 3 hours old.

My sister delivered Ayden at 3:33pm, and was extremely sleepy after around 39 hours of labour and having a ton of pain meds pumping through her body, but despite all that, you wouldn't even be able to tell that this picture was taken less than 3 hours after her new baby was born:

A picture of the happy family!

I think she looks great, and I can only hope to look half as decent at that point after labour. Her husband looks pretty great too, considering how he hadn't slept in over 50 hours! It's amazing what adrenaline will do for you, especially when your wife is the one in labour, and not you. I've heard people say things about the way a woman's body sustains her through labour and delivery, but I think it should also be noted how well men are able to function on little to no sleep and a whole lot of stress, just out of sheer love of the person experiencing the pain.

Here's one more photo of my nephew Preston, holding his little brother for the first time:

Preston, smiling his biggest "CHEESE!" smile he could muster! While he IS very camera-trained, he really was pretty darn excited about "Baby Ayen" as he calls him. It's all he's been talking about for weeks!

So, not that I'm worried about labour and delivery or anything, but I really hope I don't experience what my sister did (and I'm sure she'd agree with me in hoping that.) It was a very long labour, and it turns out that Ayden was a 10 lb baby who just would not (and COULD not) be delivered any way other than a c-section. The doctor said that if they decide to have any more children, that he's scheduling her for a 39 week c-section rather than experiencing this again.

That, if anything, makes me REALLY glad that my due date is earlier than later (at first the midwives were trying to push it back. I protested a little, the tech's predictions supported mine, and now everyone's happy!) I just do NOT want to go weeks overdue, and the sooner I'm overdue the better, because then perhaps we can avoid this (especially if big babies run in the family!)

So anyway, there's my schpeel. It was cool, having my sister and I pregnant at the same time, but it'll be even cooler when we're BOTH done and have little babies that are close in age and can be besties. It's too bad that my son (hehehe my SON, that's so much fun!) will probably be a year behind Ayden in school, because to kids, that seems like a really big deal (when it's actually less than 5 months) but my sister and I are determined to remind them constantly how they're really peers, and that Ayden is not one year older. It's so funny how the kids in the grade ahead of you were always seen as bigger and more grown up, etc etc.

Anyway, I'm going to go give Pippin a walk and enjoy some of the nice weather we've been having!

It's a.............

BOY!!!!!!!!

So you might be wondering how on earth we know because, hey, wasn't the ultrasound supposed to be on the 25th??? And you'd be right, it was. Until last Tuesday when I decided that I didn't need to wait in agony an extra week when I'd already be 19 weeks along this week. It was also a lot of fun having the ultrasound and NOT getting phone calls from very excited family members asking, "SO.......??????" This way we could tell them the way we wanted, WHEN we wanted. SO much fun.

So my last entry on here was about how frustrating sleep can be sometimes. I have to tell you, that's because I could not for the life of me sleep a wink the night before the u/s. Maybe it's ridiculous, but I felt indescribably anxious for it, for a number of reasons. Last time it really hurt to have the u/s done, and my stomach was 10 weeks smaller, so how much was it going to hurt this time? Would Matthew be able to be in there with me? Would they be able to tell the gender? Will the baby be healthy? Will the heart still be beating (a silly question, I know, but when you haven't felt them kick yet, you start to wonder if it's real...I'm the type who needs lots of reassurance) I don't know. I was just so high-strung about it all, and every time I tried to sleep that night I had dreams where I told people all about my anxieties, so that didn't help. I even started to feel sick I was getting so worked up about it.I was so surprised with how it actually turned out though - so opposite from what I'd expected. We didn't have to wait in the waiting room at all, 3 cups of water turned out to be more than enough, it didn't hurt a bit (apart from being uncomfortable from needing to go to the bathroom), it only lasted 30 minutes instead of an hour, Matthew was in there the whole time and got to see everything, the tech answered all my questions, and when he was showing me where to look to see if it was a boy or girl, I knew immediately that it was a boy (it's way easier to tell than I thought!) Was I disappointed? Only for one FRACTION of a second, and only because I really wanted to use my girl name. NOT disappointed about my tiny wee little man. I can't even picture it being a girl now which is so funny to me; he's become such a reality.

Matthew said the baby was kicking around so much on the screen that he was amazed I couldn't feel it. I've only just started to feel movements, and even then it's so light and sporadic that it's still hard to tell (the first kicks were when I was laying in bed, trying to sleep the night before the u/s). The tech gave us 6 great photos to keep, but I won't post them all, because most of them are similar. Here are some of the best ones though (the date says I'm 18 weeks 5 days in the photos, but I was actually 19 weeks 1 day. The tech amended the date after seeing the images, but I already knew/thought I was that far along, so it didn't change anything for me...long confusing story...)







So everything in my mind was leading up to this ultrasound. It seemed like a really big, pivotal thing, getting the photos (where he actually looks human, and not like some lima bean!), knowing the gender, knowing that everything is healthy and well, etc etc. Now that we've past that mark, though, I feel......directionless. That's not quite the right word, but I don't know how else to put it. What do I build up to now? To labour and delivery? It still seems a bit early for that (and I'd really rather not think about that too much, because if I got anxious for a piddly ultrasound, just imagine me before that big event!)

I still feel justified in thinking the u/s was a big thing, however...at least for me. I can't even begin to say how real the baby feels to me now. It's like he's gone from being an idea or possibility, with this hazy he/she question attached, to a reality, a real live being. I almost want to laugh, because I can't help thinking at times, "Oh! I'm pregnant afterall!" (and yes, it still seems that unbelievable, though that's changing)

I have a hard time articulating these thoughts, so I'll change the topic before I start to repeat myself and go around in circles.

We have been talking about names lately, and I think we have settled on a name, but I don't know. Suddenly it seems like a bigger deal. Like, a lot of the names I liked before just don't seem good enough, and just when I think we've settled on something, Matt comes out and says, "This is a really nice name," or "We could name him this..." He's also vetoed some names that he had not hitherto made a fuss about (much to my chagrin...hahaha)

I won't come out and say all my names on here. I'll just let everyone know The Name when it's closer to the time...or maybe after the Little Kicker is born, because I know that our decision on a name might change once we've actually seen him.

Anyway, I should wrap this up and have some lunch...or an early first dinner! I HAVE been eating today, just nothing formal because we were driving to and from the Leadership conference and helping out with some of the sports. I'll post a less obsessive entry soon though, I promise! ;)

Because sometimes Sleep sucks.

Usually I love to sleep. It's a wonderful feeling, snuggling into your bed at night in cozy pyjamas and your 'hugging pillow' as I call it, and then just laying there, thinking thinking thinking until suddenly your random thoughts turn into ridiculous dreams that you'll mostly forget by morning.

There are so many things about sleep that I appreciate. One of my favourite things is waking up in the middle of the night, feeling like you've been sleeping for hours, and feeling bummed out because you know when you look at the clock it'll say 6am, and the alarm will go off in an hour, and then, OH HAPPY DAY when you roll over and it's only 2, and you still have 5 WHOLE HOURS left.

OR there's waking up in the middle of the night to a thunderstorm, hearing the rain beating down, and just falling back asleep because you're safe and warm (well, I TRY to not fall back asleep - I'd rather appreciate the storm at that point, but then my friend Sleep takes me, and I don't object.)

Then the joy of sleeping in. Where do I even begin? Sure you've wasted part of the morning, but there is something so liberating in sleeping until your body says, "Out of bed, sleepy head!" rather than a blasted alarm starting your morning off with an ear-splitting, "WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH...." and so on until it forces you up and across the room.

But wait. This post is probably confusing you if you read the title at all. I mean, isn't this post supposed to be about how Sleep sucks? How dare I say something so unkind about Sleep as to say that it 'sucks'. And yet, my dear readers, sometimes it is only too true. Sleep knows it. Sometimes Sleep sucks on purpose, just to let you know that you're not the one in control (power-trippy, I know. It's the arrogant nature of that blissful state.)

You might ask, "When does Sleep suck?" and I will tell you. It sucks when you're tired at 9:30pm, so you decide to go to bed early, only for Sleep to tell you that your mind is racing TOO FAST for Sleep to make sense of your thoughts and turn them into even the most incomprehensible dreams.

It sucks when you're anxious about something the next day, and would really rather just sleep the time between today and tomorrow away but then Sleep decides that it's being mistreated and is going on strike just to punish you.

It sucks when your body wakes you up saying you need to go pee, and then when you try to fall back asleep after listening to your body, Sleep punishes you for paying more attention to the petty needs of a mere body than to Sleep itself (I know, this one makes Sleep out to be terribly jealous, and it IS. I've tried reasoning with Sleep before, saying, "Hey, Sleep, if I listened to you, I'd still have that bladder infection!" but that's when Sleep plugs its ears and starts singing out loud. Not a lullaby, but a rock song. GREAT.)

The funny thing is, it seems the best way to deal with Sleep and to punish it back is to stop caring about Sleep altogether. If you're busy appreciating Sleep, then it's going to assert its authority over you, but if you just stop caring, then Sleep is like, "Okay, okay. I admit, I'm not a real entity or being, but rather some state that stupid old Body puts a REAL human being into. I know I'm just a state of mind or being, but did you have to rub it in like that???" but you don't care because you're not listening. I don't think I'm capable at this point of thinking like that though. I feel SO GOOD when I'm actually sleeping, that I find it hard to imagine not needing sleep anymore. All I have to say is, being awake for eternity in the Celestial Kingdom better feel as great as falling asleep does, because I'll really miss that feeling otherwise.

I know, I know. I'm a slave to sleep, and it sucks, most particularly when you'd really like to pass time by sleeping so that the events of the next day come FASTER and instead they come as slow as slow can be. But until this 'mortal body puts on immortality' I think I will just continue to enjoy and appreciate sleeping, because I think it's far easier to like something than to dislike it, and ***MOST*** of the time, Sleep likes me back, so it's really not a bad set-up afterall.

Self-photos and excitement

Yesterday was wickedly hot and I was in my glory...this summer has been a complete bust until about a week ago in terms of it actually FEELING like summer, and now that Mother Nature has whipped out the muggy weather, I am in heaven. It's strange because most pregnant women feel warmer than normal, so this summer should have been great for me (given that it's been so cool), but apparently I like to break all rules and conventions and be perpetually cold. I've been known to step out on a day when everyone else is in shorts and t-shirts wearing jeans, socks, shoes, a t-shirt and a sweater.

So in celebration of the fact that I could step outside yesterday wearing only jeans and a t-shirt (and such a shirt as accentuates my nicely round tummy!) I made Matt take the remainder of his work-day off so that we could go to a local island park and snap some pregnancy photos. You might be thinking, "hasn't she been posting pregnancy photos for weeks now???" but if you go back and look at them, you'll realize that they are not exactly the kind of photos that you'd want to scrapbook. The quality is horrible and apart from my great stomach, there is nothing flattering about them. I wanted some pictures that I could put in my journal, etc, that I wouldn't be ashamed of looking at in 5 years, 5 months, or even 5 days!

If you want to see them in better quality, just click on them, although I have to warn you, the black and white ones aren't that great quality even when you see the bigger version. It's because I have to resize them in order to post them. And now, without further adieu, here are some of my favourites:

[caption id="attachment_495" align="aligncenter" width="199" caption="And this one we took back home in front of our front window. It's a good silhouette one, and it'll be fun to take more once I'm further along."][/caption]

I should probably mention that I'm 18 weeks 4 days along in the photos. Almost half-way there, and now 4 1/2 months along! That sounds so much better than 4 weeks...gah. It was almost too warm yesterday...I didn't like being out in the sun more than I had to be, hence why we took most of the photos in the shade. Also, I've been feeling out of breath really easily the last week or so, so I was kinda tired by the time we left, but that's okay. It was worth it.

Not too much else is new around here. My sister, who is also pregnant, is due with her second boy today, so we're just waiting to see when it happens. She was late last time when she had Preston, and she's expecting (although not hoping) to be late again, but we'll see. It's so exciting though! I have some boy stuff upstairs already (because I figure we're probably having a boy) but if I find out we're having a girl, I've already got a gift picked out!! hahaha...

Anyway, I should go do some cleaning before this afternoon. We're going to a little boy's birthday party today and it should be fun. I'm bringing along the camera so that I can get some practice taking pictures of people...I love taking photos of people! We'll see how it goes, and maybe I'll post some more pictures tomorrow.

Oh frabjous day!

It has just been a good, good, GOOD day. Almost everything about it has been good. Even the bad things don't seem so bad at this end of it all. Let me tell you whyit has been so good.

Well, first of all, it's Sunday. That makes today nice right from the start. Then I got to see my daddio at church, which always makes me happy. The talks were great, I especially loved how Brother Brown's talk focused on Elder Holland's "The Tongue of Angels" talk from one of the 2007 general conferences (I highly recommend reading it here.) It made me want to never let any unworthy thing come out of my mouth.

Then there was Primary which, after the nightmare I had about Primary last night, was a dream in comparison! The nightmare was silly but SO terribly frustrating at the same time. I was dreaming that I was trying to set up the nursery before sacrament meeting started, and all these kids I know kept coming in and messing everything up, and then opening exercises for Primary had started and I still wasn't done setting up and all these kids who SHOULD have been participating in opening exercises were just bugging me. In real life, Primary today was TEENY (everyone's on vacation, seriously.) There were 2 Juniors and 3 Seniors. Matt was teaching, and he's such a great teacher. I think it all went smoothly except for the part where he spun a kid around to confuse them as to the direction in which they should be headed, and the kid started walking and then ran into the podium, hitting her head on the corner. She cried, and Matt felt REALLY bad, but I gave her some chocolate and all was well.

This afternoon was nice and quiet, but not too quiet. Just quiet in an 'ahhhhhhh' sort of way. I didn't even nap, so I'll be able to sleep well tonight, which is always a bonus.

Then this evening we had our good friends Dave and Farrah and their little baby over for dinner, and that's always fun...where can you go wrong with good friends, good laughs, homemade chicken wings, and apple pie?

Speaking of which, I made Matt dictate the recipe for his wings so that we don't forget it next time we go to make them (they were as near to perfection tonight as any earth-bound wings could possibly be) and then he suggested that I put it on my blog. I conceded, because, hey, this blog isn't supposed to just be about me (even though, with Matt not evening READING it, it's pretty much become that way), so here's the recipe:

Wings

-take app. 30-40 wings and put them in a clean garbage bag. Add olive oil (maybe between 1/2 c. to one c.) and toss them in it until lightly coated. Then add a bit of flour and toss the wings. Check them to see if they've lost their shine. If not, add a bit more flour and repeat until wings still look a little wet but not shiny. Deep fry them at 375 degrees Fahrenheit about 15 minutes or until browned.

Sauce

-melt 1/2 c. margarine, then add 1/2 c. Franks Red Hot Sauce, 3/4 c. tomato sauce, 1 tbsp. chili powder, 1/4 tbsp. cayenne pepper, and brown sugar to taste (or not at all if you don't like slightly sweet wings. We add about 1/2 of unpacked brown sugar). Mix ingredients together, and then pour over wings and toss until coated (or mix until coated - you don't want sauce going everywhere!). Let the wings stand for 5 minutes if they're fresh out of the deep fryer, and then ENJOY!!

So there you have it. The best chicken wings ever (by our standards anyway.) We admit that the 'best' wing recipe will never be found and agreed upon because everyone likes their wings cooked and sauced different ways, but we think they're great, and so did Dave and Farrah. I've heard them called 'terrific' (meaning great, not terrifying! Oh wait, meaning delicious, not great. Isn't English weird and dumb all at the same time?)

Here's something I think is super cute. Matt has decided that he's not going to make fun of the silly things I say anymore. Now, on the surface, you might be thinking, "GOOD! He shouldn't make fun of you anyway!" but it kinda comes with the territory when you're a Ling major. You start to notice how others speak, and the funny things they say, and I can imagine how a Ling major's spouse would have to pick up the habit in self-defense because they're around the Ling major most frequently. It's become a bit of a habit for us to laugh when the other just can't spit out what they're trying to say (and I have to say, it's pretty funny when I come out with things like "vegetaboil" instead of "vegetable oil" or when I get so excited that my sentence becomes a jumble all except for the last word.) So at first I was a little sad when he said he wasn't going to tease me anymore (perhaps because I like to tease HIM too, and I'll feel obligated to stop now) but then when I asked him why, he said that, even if we're having fun, making fun of people for any reason is not a habit we should get into, and that it's not something he'd want to teach to our children. He wouldn't want them thinking it's appropriate at any time, because it's just too hard to tell when you're crossing the line. He's so cute and great and my favourite person ever!!

So anyway, there is my plain, run-of-the-mill, good, good day! People ask me what I DO and I never know what to tell them. I'm busy not being busy I guess. I find things to do (when I'm not working for Matt) and life just fills up. It's so nice, but it does take me a while to get into the groove of filling my time rather than expecting opportunities for things to do to just land in my lap. Check my blog posts from May if you don't believe me!

Oh! Here's something else that made my day so frabjous. I put on a shirt this morning that I haven't worn in a while, but as it is an empire-waist shirt, I thought it might work for the whole pregnancy thing. Well, may I just say, "right you are, Holly, right you are!!" It's great. I love it. I FEEL PREGNANT in it, which not many things make me do. And best of all, I look way more betterly pregnant in it than I did in my pregnant-belly photo from a few days ago. So much better that I made Matt take an update shot just so I don't feel like I just look fat when I post photos like I did the other day (really, what was I thinking?!) I know I could take the other day's photo down, but I won't bother because this photo will prove that it's a pregnant belly and not just gut, or a 'jelly-donut' or 'rubber-tire' as Red likes to call it. Here's the new photo:

[caption id="attachment_474" align="aligncenter" width="199" caption="Yay!! I LOVE my pregnant belly. Can you tell?"][/caption]

Oh, here's something I thought I had posted about, but it turns out I haven't. My friend Mandy told me about an old wives tale that is turning out to be true so far. This is the tale: if your baby's heart beat is consistently above 145, it's a girl. If it's below 145, it's a boy. This was true for all 4 of her children (2 boys, 2 girls), for my friend Anne's little girl, and for Farrah's little girl too. So maybe I'm NOT having a boy! Maybe it's a girl afterall, because the baby's heartbeat has been 160 twice now. I won't be disappointed either way. The only reason I **might** prefer a girl more is because I care more about my girls names than my boys names. Like, if someone stole most of my boys names (all but one, to be exact) I wouldn't care. But if they stole any of my girls names (there are 8 of them) then I'd be upset. Like, you could be my closest kin, and I'll still use the name because to me, it's MY name and was my name first. The kids and everyone else in the world can deal with there being two first cousins with the same name, but I won't care! It's ridiculous, I know. I guess there aren't 8 names, there are probably more like 3 or 4 names that I care about. If it's a girl, you'll find out what one of them is (unless I've already posted the names, which I don't think I have.)

Anyway, I think that's all. I was going to post a picture showing how tall our grass got before we cut it yesterday but I'll save it for another post. So yah! Here's me, incurably incapable of finishing off a blog post (or journal entry, or email) in a way that is satisfactory to me, and not completely awkward. I suddenly understand why Strongbad says dumb things like, "One, two three, email me! One, two four, email me more!" at the end of his SB emails. And with that, I sign off.

PS-YES there always has to be something akin to a PS. This one is - I will give a prize to anyone who can tell me where the phrase 'Oh frabjous day" came from WITHOUT googling it. Please be honest!

Pie heaven...among other things

It's been *gasp* nearly 2 weeks since I last posted! There are so many little things to catch up on!

First of all, Matthew and I are finished our photography class, and who do you think got the higher mark??? Yes, yes, allow me to brag, I beat Matt by 3 marks! Not by 3 percent, we both probably got 99% overall. We got the same mark on absolutely everything EXCEPT one piddly assignment where I got 3 marks more than Matt because he didn't answer one of the questions. At the start of the class, Matt wanted to have a prize for the person who got the higher mark and I wasn't so keen on that, as Matthew is much more academically gifted than I am, but my mind changed when I realized that I beat him. When we left class last Wednesday I said, "so what's my prize???" Matthew is so good and humoured me, and we went to Motherhood Maternity where I bought a top, some jeans and (boys, close your eyes) a new bra. I thought the bra would be heavenly, and at first it was, but now it's giving me bruises and I can't return it because it's undergarments. I think it'd be okay if I had perfect posture, but I don't, so pants to that.

Another exciting thing is that I have, in the space of a week, become a pie-making connoisseur! My mother-in-law came over and taught me how to make the pastry, and I made an apple pie and a raspberry pie. The raspberry pie was too tart to eat, and I learned that you need to taste the filling before putting it in. The apple pie was delicious though, and I felt very Holly-homemaker! I had leftover dough, so a couple days later I made chicken pot pie, and I was shocked with how good it was and how easy the recipe was. I was telling a friend about it on the weekend, and now I'm scheduled to go to her house tomorrow to teach HER how to make pies! It makes me think of that one funny quote from some late-night tv show: "If you die, and have a choice between pie heaven and regular heaven, I'd choose pie heaven. It might be a trick, but if it's not, mmmm boy!"

Matthew went away this past weekend to our lovely regional Young Women camp to help cut down trees and gather brush, and I was SO lonely! It's probably pathetic, but I feel like I just can't function when he's gone. I also worry...A LOT. I'm working on that, because it's too all-consuming. It's hard for me to get my mind off of my worries once they are there, and one thing I've stopped doing in hopes of it helping is I've stopped reading Yahoo News. I feel so disconnected, and it was interesting knowing what's going on in the world, but it's just not worth it to me. You see, when I read about bad things happening in the world, I acknowledge that bad things happen, but instead of moving on, I think about them too much and I start to EXPECT bad things to happen to myself and those around me, when in reality the bad things on the news make the news because they are NOT common out-of-the-ordinary things. It's hard to explain, but I think it's helping.

It seems like I keep cutting more and more things out. First facebook, now the news. It feels good though, doing some pruning and I think it makes me happier to be less cluttered. Also, it feels good because I am strong enough to do so...I'm not exactly the best person with things like self-mastery.

The last thing that's really new or exciting is that I had another midwife appointment yesterday. They're not exactly these big thrilling things, but it's nice to have a reminder that it's really happening...I still don't feel very pregnant. At times I think it's so unbelievable that I wonder if there's really a baby in there, and if the heart is still beating and everything is fine. We found the heartbeat yesterday almost immediately (which was a big improvement from the time before!) and it's still around 160, although it apparently drops a bit closer to 20 weeks. I'm almost 17 weeks now...weird! My tummy is getting bigger bit by bit, and I expect it will pick up more over the next month, as the baby is really growing during this time. Here's a photo taken today:



I'm still waiting to feel the baby move for the first time, but it might still be weeks from now before I realize it's happening. In less than 3 weeks though I have my ultrasound where I find out if it's a girl or boy!! That will be SO exciting. I don't know how people wait the whole time. I'm pumped to start buying things that are gender-specific, and I've already decided that if they can't tell what the gender is, I'll pay to have a 3D ultrasound done, and they can tell me there. I'll get the extra u/s done if they tell me it's a girl too, because that's the one where there's a better chance that they're wrong. I think it's a boy anyway, because it seems the G-Family genes are stacked against girls (for the most part of course!)

So that's it for now. My week has felt a little busy, what with working for Matt, appointments, pie-making, a wedding shower tomorrow (hurray for Lisa!) ward temple night Friday, and so on, but I like it. It doesn't necessarily make for thrilling posting, but it's so good to have things to do and to be useful. Anyway, it's time for bed, I feel so tired and would love to get a good 9 hours sleep tonight.