Flash-happy

Too long have I gone without the flash. Too long have I spent trying to capture the perfect shot, only to be foiled by motion blur. Too many moments have I missed in these last 8 weeks. Too many photos that could have been, if only I could get my shutter speed fast enough.

But no more.

Yesterday, I attempted the flash but to no avail. Nevertheless, I pressed forward completely undaunted, and have obtained the prize:

Well-lit photos despite the lighting dungeon that is my house.

Yes, today has been a beautiful day so far, and I have the pictures to prove it.

Ohhh, the ears!!

He's been sleeping a lot lately. I'm thinking 'growth spurt.'

The adorable 0-6 mos. Robeez that are just about too small for him. At less than 2 months.

And the newly-groomed Pippin, showing off his drinking-from-the-bathroom-faucet skillz. I'm in love with the motion-capture shown in this picture. Thank heavens for flash.

So I really have no idea what took me so long to try the flash. I was pretty sure it'd be terribly difficult and a frenemy relationship would ensue, but if things keep going as they are, this could turn into a beautiful, lifelong friendship. Or just one of those one-sided, disgusting adoration things where I idolize the flash and am constantly trying to figure it out, and it couldn't care less about me.

But at this point, I'm too flash-happy to care!

That's a wrap

As a baby shower gift my sister-in-law, Rachelle, gave me this really cool wrap. When she demonstrated how to use this immensely long piece of fabric I was lost, confused, and hooked all at once. I didn't know how it worked, but I loved it. I couldn't exactly practice because I had this big round belly strapped to the front of me, and even a kleenex box inside the wrap would have been sitting in my face, I was carrying so high.

So I waited until Eli was born before trying it, and I was so disappointed when it didn't go over well. At all. He just screamed and screamed and I got frustrated because I couldn't pull it tight enough to hold him without slumping a lot, which caused him to scream some more. So I put the wrap thing on hold for a while.

Lately, however, the weather has been just beautiful. The outdoors have been calling to me, but the only way I can go outside with Eli is with a stroller. Our stroller is great, but it takes up our entire trunk, so Farrah and I can't go somewhere for a walk unless it involves driving to either of our houses and walking around that neighbourhood. It'd be nice to be able to go for walks places like Niagara Falls or Port Dalhousie. Also, what are we going to do this summer when we go up north, and need to put luggage in said trunk?

So today I pulled the wrap back out, and figured out a comfier way of putting it on. Eli was tired, and fell asleep while I fiddled with the criss-crossing and the tying. By the time I was done he was out cold and comfy. Hurrah for a positive experience for him!

I can't even tell you how proud I am, to have been able to do it successfully. I just walked around the house with Eli sleeping (and probably drooling) against my chest, feeling a little bit of what it felt like when I was pregnant and he was strapped a little lower to my torso. He looked so cute in it, and I felt so proud and pregnant again that I just had to take some photos. Here's what I came up with:




Eli was loving it until he woke up and felt a little too restricted, so I lifted him out of the top and am still walking around the house with the thing tied to me. I don't want to take it off and waste all that good, hard work!

Spring bliss, weight loss, and a lil more Elijah

I think that, considering how my last post was 4 days ago, it is safe to say I'm getting back into blogging. No more 2 week hiatuses for me! Even that's not a terribly long time, as far as blogs go. I've seen some blogs where people only post once in a blue moon. But then, that's not the point of this blog, and I'd feel guilty leaving it for so long, considering how the purpose of this blog is keep people informed as to our life.

And life lately has been wonderful.

Spring is here. It's here, despite the calendar. It's here despite the groundhog. It's here despite the storm that we'll likely still get, as we always do at this point in the season.

Yes, Spring is here and every part of me is thrilling to it.

Yesterday when I was driving I saw a robin. A robin on March 16th! A little early, if you ask me, but I'm not complaining, because robins trump groundhogs when it comes to determining how much Winter is left.

Then today it was so beautiful and sunny that the outdoors were calling to me and I just had to go for a walk with Elijah. Matthew was at work with the stroller in the trunk of the car, but he kindly agreed to come and work from home the rest of the day just so that I could get out of the house and enjoy the sunshine.

There really isn't anywhere to walk around here unless you want to walk along the quiet, pretty, and completely deserted canal. I like walking along there, but not by myself. It just doesn't feel safe somehow.

So instead I took a walk to our local grocery store for nothing in particular. We just went grocery shopping yesterday and spent far too much money, but I managed to think of a couple things that we still needed, so off Eli and I went.

It was so beautiful outside! When I got home the weather network said it was 17 degrees which is like a cool June day. I love it! I was so warm walking that I was tempted to take off my sweater. I decided not to owing to my insecurity where my pudgy belly is concerned, and I kindof regretted it when I got home because I was sweating like it was the middle of summer. I pulled off the shoes and socks, and for the rest of the day I've been wearing flats...with no socks at all! To me, that's on the same level as wearing sandals, only prettier.

And, because I promised to take more photos and put them on my blog, I ran outside once I got these puppies on and took a photo.


And guess what I saw on my walk?? I saw the beginnings of flowers sprouting up from the ground! I was so excited that I regretted not bringing the camera just to document it. Then, as if to teach me a life lesson on the importance of bringing your camera everywhere, I saw real, live, first-of-the-season flowers. Beautiful, dainty little white snowdrops of the kind that only come once Spring is finally here.

Did I mention that Spring is finally here? And that I'm excited about it?

Now that the nicer weather is here I'm a lot more motivated to work out and get this post-pregnancy body of mine back into shape. Matthew has been feeling the same way, so we're having a competition to see who can get to their target weight the fastest. We both have about the same amount that we want to lose, so the race is on! And boy it has been competitive around here these last couple days. Everything now is, "Go ahead, eat that rice krispie square. I'm just going to beat you, that's all!"

It's frustrating in a way because, with breastfeeding, I need to eat often. I feel hungry so often throughout the day, like 2 hours after a big breakfast, but Matt doesn't get hungry so often, so I feel like I'm eating way more than him, which I might very well be. I'm ACTUALLY eating for two now, though, so I just remind myself of that and aim to eat healthy foods. Except for the small McDonald's fries I had tonight. BUT I've been good about the sweets, which are way harder for me to cut out than fries.

So anyway, Our Weight Loss Thing is on (capitalized because that's what we so uncreatively called it) and we will see in a month who is in the lead.

Yesterday I had my last midwife appointment and I feel equal portions of sadness and happiness.

I feel sad because the experience is over. Being pregnant was wonderful and a miracle and I will always look back on that as a happy time. I miss little thing that have to do with being pregnant, and I will miss the midwives and how well taken care of I felt. It's nice to know that there's someone you know on call in case you or your baby has an emergency, and who will take time with you to answer questions and listen to concerns. So yes, I'm sad that we've been discharged.

At the same time though, I'm happy. OH so happy. Life is moving forward and I sort of feel like I can't keep up, it's going so fast. Eli is 7 weeks old today, and I need to call tomorrow to book his 2 month shots. It's so hard to believe he's so big already and that he isn't this teeny newborn anymore. I'm so happy he's healthy and doing well, and I'm happy I've recovered well too. Nursing is going well and he's gaining tons of weight. The little bruiser is already at 12 lb's 3 oz, and is more than 24" long. I'm happy, happy, happy.

And here I go almost forgetting to put pictures in the post! They were all taken today, as part of my newfound desire to take good photos.

I love that face.

Baby feet!

Sharing a moment.
Oh so serious!

I'm also grateful for the nicer weather because it means I can take photos with better lighting, and soon I'll be able to venture outdoors for impromptu photoshoots!

One last thing before I finish this to feed my little man.

Yesterday we had an appointment at Dr. A's. He's such a nice doctor, and I was glad when he said he wouldn't mind if Eli stayed on as a regular, run-of-the-mill patient, rather than just coming because of the concern about his head.

We also discussed the results of the ultrasounds. His head is fine, the fluid is gone, there's none around the brain, so we're good. There is a slight ridge still on his skull that we're not sure about, so we're getting an x-ray for it (this Dr. is really thorough...) to see if it's calcified fluid or a fracture in the skull that healed itself already. Either way, it's just to see what it is, nothing to be worried about.

We also discussed the spinal scan and the bum dimple. So apparently his spinal cord is complete and everything, but there is this one part where it's connected to this sinus tract or something or other and it shouldn't be connected. So we've received a referral for a consultation at Mac, and we go in April for that. He might need an MRI to look into it further, or they could look at it and him and decide to not worry about it. Dr. A said that if it is S.B., many people who have the occulta form walk around with nothing more to worry about than a little constipation. Even that I don't think would be an issue (given Eli's track record...ha) so here's hoping. And praying.

Other than that, we're been doing really well. Eli is meeting his milestones in terms of cooing, smiling, following us with his eyes, and even attempting to laugh I think. He's getting much more interactive, and we can do things to make him smile. Oh, and today he took his very first nap in his crib! He still sleeps beside us in the play yard and I'm not that anxious to move him to the crib because it would make night-times hard, given what a noisy sleeper he can be, but it's nice to know that he isn't averse to sleeping there.

And I almost forgot a video I took of Elijah today! He is dreaming in the video and making these cute little sounds. When I took the video he had already been making the sounds for a good 5 minutes at least, it was so cute!

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=apAIL9_4BTw&hl=en_GB&fs=1&]

Anyway, I think that about covers it. I really need to go to bed, as it's 11:11 and I'm tired and still need to feed the little mister before I can sleep. Sleep seems so far away when I put it like that...Oh well. I'll just sleep in tomorrow morning. Good, wonderful Matthew!

A good day

It's amazing how little it takes to make my day good. It's still not over yet, but so far I really can't complain, and that's saying something, considering how Matthew is working today so I've been home alone, which I don't normally like.

All that has really happened is I took a shower this morning with Elijah awake rather than asleep this time, and he was totally fine and happy. Then I made up a few cookies with the delicious chocolate cookie dough we have sitting in our fridge, and the tastiness of the cookies made me happy.

Then Elijah went for 3 hours and a bit between one of his mid-day feedings, so I pulled out my sewing machine and I finally figured out how to use the thing! I bought this sewing machine the day before I went into labour, pulled it out that evening to figure it out, got tired, and put it down for another day. Then, mere hours later, my waters broke, labour was in full swing, and the rest is history. So the poor, new, pretty sewing machine has been sitting untouched on my dining room floor for nearly a month and a half.

I think I'd have pulled it out sooner if I wasn't so daunted by how long I thought it would take to figure out how to use it. It turned out to have only taken me 2 1/2 hours to learn all of the basic functions, and I now know more about sewing than I ever have. I could tell you all the parts and how to change them out, and I can even switch effortlessly between stitches.

I took some photos because I wanted to document my attempt at using my very own sewing machine.

Greyscale makes everything classier, don't you think? And besides, sewing is such a vintage thing to me that it deserves a little black and white.

I love my sewing machine. I'm so excited to have it, and even more excited to use it.

This one I didn't do in greyscale because there wasn't enough contrast for it. This is a picture of my attempt at smocking. It wasn't a serious attempt, I was just pretty excited to learn the basic principles of how smocking is accomplished and then put it into practice. When I was a baby I would wear smocked dresses my mom had made for me, and I hope to someday make smocked dresses for my own little girl(s). First I need to master basic sewing principles though.

I'm pretty happy with how the pictures turned out.

I hope to be posting more pictures on my blog from now on, for a few reasons. One, then I'll have a reason to take pictures and develop my photography skills. Two, my blog will be more visually appealing with more colour on it. Three, it allows people to actually see what we've been up to rather than just reading about it, and four, because I love photog blogs. I find them so fun to read and I'm secretly jealous and want one for myself. Often pictures are my favourite part of a blog post, so why deny you readers the pleasure of looking at my sometimes laughable attempt at photography?

You can tell me when it's laughable, by the way, but I think I've been on a bit of a roll lately, not meaning to toot my own horn. Here are some cute photos I took of Elijah yesterday:

His eyes were drooping, despite the awkward position Matt was holding him in.

Believe me when I say that the relationship between droopy eyes and droopy soothers is directly proportional.

Fighting off the sleepiness because there is just so much going on.

Deciding in the end that he'd much rather be awake and smiling than sleeping and missing the action.

I **LOVE** that last photo of him, it so accurately reflects what he looks like.

So last night I had a dream that we were having another baby boy, and I was excited because it'd be like having twins (which is so funny, because with all the work one baby has been, I think I would rather pass on the whole twin thing) but then I realized that I wasn't actually pregnant yet, so they'd be more like a year apart. We were going to name this second baby boy Edmund and I'd call him Teddy or Ted for short. I actually really like the name Edmund (just for those who thought the whole Edmund thing was funny or a joke!) but once we found out Eli was a boy, Matt vetoed it. I didn't put up a fuss because I knew he was to be called Elijah anyway, but now I want to have another boy and name him Edmund so I can call him my little Teddy-bear.

Does that sound silly? And is it weird that I'm dreaming about getting pregnant pretty much immediately? It's not what I want, and can hardly be expected given our track record with getting pregnant, but it was a kind of exciting dream. Hmm. Not that it's prophetic or anything. I had a dream once that I got pregnant with twins, one boy and one girl, and I named them Graeme and Emme. I really like both of those names, but it wasn't until I was recounting the dream to Matthew when he laughed out loud at my name choice. Clearly I had award ceremonies on the mind, if I'm naming my only two kids anything that sounds like Grammy and Emmy.

And I know I'm rambling now, but I'm really big on baby names and get really excited about them. It's always the first thing I ask when someone has had a baby, and whenever I have a baby in my dreams I always know their name. I've dreamt of having babies named Cora Grace, Catherty, Elizabeth, Tommy, Graeme and Emme, and now Edmund.

Anyway, not too much else is new here. The doctor called with Eli's u/s results, but got Matt on the phone so I didn't get the full story, hence why I'm not canceling my Tuesday appointment for the results. I want to drill this guy with questions. AND I want to see if I can keep him as Eli's pediatrician after all this, rather than just going to a family doctor.

Dr. A didn't even mention the head u/s to Matt so I'm assuming it was unremarkable, until told otherwise. The bum dimple, on the other hand, went "pretty far" as Matt said. Meaning there is no bottom to it, or rather the bottom is rather far inside of him. This is increasingly worrisome for spina bifida, or at least it would be if Eli had more symptoms than a bum dimple. Dr. A said to not worry about it, given how strong Eli is, and how much movement he has with his legs, so that's what I'm trying to do. Not worry.

And like I said before. It could be spina bifida and still not be a big deal. A large number of people with the occulta form of s.b. (which is the type it would be if Eli has it) don't even know they have it because of how it doesn't affect them at all. So still normal, still healthy, still happy. PHEW. This not worrying business can be tiring sometimes. So anyway, the results are being sent off to McMaster, because that's standard procedure for this sort of thing, and they're going to call us with their own analysis of the u/s.

So after this whole s.b. scare and my dream last night of getting pregnant again soon, you can bet I'm taking my folic acid every day. Getting pregnant with Elijah was more than a little unexpected so I didn't take folic acid until I knew I was pregnant, at around 5 weeks, but the folic acid is most beneficial before you even know you're pregnant, like 0-4 weeks, or even pre-pregnancy, so I'm pretty sure I'll be taking folic acid as a safety precaution every day of my child-bearing years. Because I'm always going to wonder if maybe he wouldn't have the bum dimple if I'd been on folic acid.

Aaaand that's pretty much all that's new. I'm glad to be able to find more time to blog lately because I've missed it, even if I do mostly ramble about random things like baby names and sewing accomplishments. But hey, that's what our days are like these days, and what good is an update blog for but to keep you lovelies updated? ;)

Now I'm going to go eat dinner sooner than later as we're going to bed early in anticipation of daylight savings time and the loss of an hour of sleep that it entails. I feel like I'm hurting already.

Am I a bad mommy...

...if my first thought upon seeing this face was, "quick, grab the camera!" ???

I can't help myself though. He's just so darn cute! Even when he's crying. Why do we find crying babies cute? It's not just human babies either. Kittens are cutest when they're mewing, and puppies are adorable when they whine, but cuter when they bark, I'd say. Even still though, there's something to be said about a cute-looking dependent crying for you, when you can fix it. You just want to scoop them up and kiss them (after capturing it on camera, of course.)

Those, my friends, are very knowing eyes. What a personality this little one has!

The white balance isn't very accurate in this one, but I really love his profile. He's a pretty good looking baby, in my opinion. Even if I AM biased, I've come to realize that most people think he's cute. I think he's absolutely beautiful on top of that, but I'll settle for people thinking he's cute.

So peaceful and precious when he's sleeping.

Sometimes he can be a bit of a bed hog. It's like he's staking out and claiming his territory.

Ohhhh the face!

I was going for more like this one, but he was pretty camera-d out, what with the photographer and me making the video. At least he's smiling lots in the video. Even still though, isn't his expression cute?

More of the bad mommy-ness. I couldn't resist.

Aaaaand here's a video of Elijah. It's long, I know...but he just kept on doing cute things and I didn't want to miss anything so I kept recording. The video covers smiles, frowns, fussing, sneezing, a couple yawns, cooing, wiggling, and general cuteness. It also shows you just how big his baby hands are, and at the beginning he does the whole throwing-out-the-chest things, where he sticks his chest up and puts his shoulders back while wiggling. SO cute. Basically the video gives people who have never seen Elijah in person (like Heidi, we miss you!) an idea of what he's like. He's been smiling more and more lately, I love it. Usually after a feeding and diaper change he spends a while happy and talking, unless he falls right asleep.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4M5Vi0ndG3A&hl=en&fs=1]

Speaking of Elijah sleeping, I'm going to go up to bed. It's 11:30, and Matt and Eli are in bed while I finish this post. I need to get to bed too, though, because Matt is going into work early tomorrow (okay, so he's going to work on time) which means I can't sleep in until 9:30 or 10 like I've been doing for the last...ohh, I don't know. 6 weeks? So it's going to be a tough morning. I need all the sleep I can get!

Enjoy!

Oh, and please forgive my annoying voice in the video. I know child-directed-speech bothers some people (especially Japanese, who don't use it at all!) but babies generally do like it better, and Elijah is no exception. He doesn't smile and coo unless we're gasping, smiling and cooing right back at him, and to be honest, it's fun to just babble on and imitate the sounds he makes. I tried really hard to not make a fool of myself in the video (apart from the high-pitched voice) but it's hard to not make a fool of yourself when you're trying to get a baby to smile. We might look ridiculous doing it, but in the end, I think the reward of the smiles, cooing, and laughter is more than worth it. :D

Waking Up

Today makes 6 weeks since Elijah was born, and I feel a strong need to blog about it. Not that there's a whole lot to say (although I always find something to say...) but because it feels like a big milestone, and I want to take note of it.

I was told by a number of people that things would start to feel normal and routine by 6 weeks, so I've been waiting for this date in my mind. As with birthdays, I don't feel a big tangible difference between today and yesterday. That leads me to think that things started to feel normal-ish a week ago or so, but who knows, maybe things will be so different a week from now that, in hindsight, this really IS the turning point and I just don't know it yet.

I do feel like I'm waking up to the world though. I feel pretty functional in terms of being out in public with Elijah, although the novelty of being out with a stroller with a baby in it still hasn't worn off. I'm able to breastfeed pretty much anywhere now, and I'm grateful for the consideration of people around me when I do. Matthew and I went to a restaurant the other day and we were only mildly inconvenienced by waiting an extra 5 minutes for our table so that we could have a booth instead of a table with chairs, and when I was at the hospital for Eli's u/s last week I asked how much longer the wait would be as I needed to feed him, and the lady offered me a changeroom to feed him in rather than the waiting room, which I totally would have done. It was nice.

I'm also functional at home. I've figured out that if I want to make dinner I need to do it in steps throughout the day, and I don't mind taking a gamble and showering when no-one else is around to look after the baby.

The house is pretty tidy, although it'd feel cleaner if Pippin would stop taking Merry's poop out of the litterbox and leaving it on the middle of the living room carpet. I can't stand the gravel.

I think these feelings of goodness and normality come in part because of the nice weather we've been having. Yesterday the temperature hit the double digits (in celsius) and I was elated. Today it's one or two degrees warmer than that and all I want to do is be outside. I think that's the nice thing about having Elijah in January. February absolutely flew by and now it's almost the middle of March, and the warm weather has already begun. I was able to hibernate my way through winter and not be exposed too much to the chilly temperatures and icy pathways.

Soon it'll be bikeriding weather, and Matt and I are trying to find a way to still use our bikes with a little baby in tow (perhaps literally.) Any suggestions?

As for physical recovery, I'm doing well. I got the go-ahead to workout, so I've been on the treadmill once, just walking though. My muscles still feel shot but walking will help with that.

Elijah is doing well too. He's now 11 1/2 lb's, and 24 inches. He's grown out of his newborn sleepers and is almost out of some 0-3 months sleepers as well due to his length. He's long and thin, so it's a little hard to find the right size for him sometimes.

We don't have the results from the ultrasounds last week, but the bumps on his head are gone which is nice because he doesn't look so alien! His head actually has a really nice shape. I'm going to post a post that is just pictures and videos in the next day or two, so that you can see how much he's grown and filled out over the last few weeks. Also, we had a photographer come by today and take a bunch of traditional photos of him, so I'm looking forward to seeing those in a couple weeks.

Time feels like it is flying by. Part of me feels like it was just yesterday when we could count how old he is on one hand, and then part of me realizes that in two weeks he'll nearly be 2 months old, with a new cousin soon here. He'll still be so young, but he won't look so little next to another newborn! Especially when the newborn is a girl, and girls are typically smaller than boys.

In the world of non-baby updates, I read 3 of the greatest books over the last few weeks. Yes, I amazingly find time to read. It's so refreshing wanting to read now, because for the longest time I didn't feel like reading at all, which was very strange for me.

Anyway, these books are just about my favourite ever. At least of their genre anyway. The series is called Mistborn by Brandon Sanderson, and we discovered them through a slight mistake on Matt's mum's part. See, Matt's brother, Joel, sent two books home for Christmas gifts for Matt and Aaron, and mum got the books mixed up, so Matt got the one intended for Aaron. He read the book, LOVED IT, and then passed it on to Aaron, who it was meant for anyway. Aaron read it, Rachelle read it, and then, after hearing all the cool and amazing things about this book, we got it back and I read it. I was hooked. I mean, there were days these last few weeks where ALL I did was get up, feed Elijah, eat, read, feed Elijah, read while feeding Elijah, eat, read, feed Elijah, read some more, repeat this cycle another 5 times, and go to bed. Only to do it again the next day. I even was so hooked that once, while feeding Elijah at 3:30 in the morning, I kept reading after he was done, lost track of time, and finally thought, "Holly, don't be an idiot. Your newborn baby is sleeping on your lap, it's the middle of the night, and you're up reading a book? What time is it anyway...." and it turned out to be 5:30am. I went to bed, Eli started fussing at 6am, he fussed for an hour, I fed him at 7am, and Matt took Eli to let me sleep some more at 7:30. So I'd been up for 4 hours, just to read. Sometimes I amaze myself with my sheer idiocy! It was kinda worth it though.

So anyway, I would recommend the books. Very highly. The first one is called Mistborn, the second on is called The Well of Ascension, and the third one is called The Hero of Ages. I don't really know what to tell you about it. Let's see. The world is in a rough state, there is this big bad ruler who oppresses the majority of the population, and there is a group of people who object his rule. Also, they can do cool things with metals that is akin to magic, but isn't. It's a very revolutionary system.

Anyway, I can't write more because my little boy is looking at me while crying and it's breaking my heart, so I'm going to go feed him and then figure out dinner.

Check tonight or tomorrow for those pictures and videos!