First, may I just say that I love the term "frenemy?" It fits on so many levels, and we really don't have an equivalent for it anywhere else in the English language. It totally describes the love-hate relationship that everyone experiences at some point in their lives.
I've had frenemies before in my life. They come and they go. My most recent bestie/worstie (see? isn't "frenemy" easier?) is chocolate. Chocolate and I, we go way back.
***the view goes all blurry, and you are confronted with a 3-year-old Holly looking highly suspicious, alone in the quiet kitchen***
My first memory of chocolate goes back to the Caistor Centre days. My mom was putting my little brother down for his nap, and I was climbing on the counter, nabbing the bag of chocolate chips, and dumping them into a margarine container. I then hid, but I didn't eat the chocolate chips. Not yet, anyway. I waited, biding my time, until my mom put Justin down in his crib and left, closing the door behind her. I snuck into his room, crawled underneath his crib, and lay there, stuffing my face with chocolate and laughing into my hand as I heard them looking for me throughout the whole house, whispering my name, and completely avoiding my little brother's room for fear of waking him up.
Crafty, for a 3-year-old, huh?
I have memories of eating all the *good* Hallowe'en candy within 2 days of getting it, and of stealing my sibling's once mine was gone. Memories of sneaking a Big Turk from the treat cupboard with the cookbooks, sneaking off to the attic to eat it in peace and hiding, and discovering that it's only chocolate coated and therefore not worth my time, so I stuffed it somewhere up there and left it to rot. Memories of trying to steal a Skor bar from the local corner store and getting caught doing it (I don't think you've ever heard THAT one mom!) and still my penchant for chocolate was not quelled.
When I was 10 and visiting a friend in Pennsylvania in the summertime, my parents thought they'd surprise me by clearing out the attic and moving my bedroom up there (seriously, coolest bedroom ever.) When they went to go move my bed, countless wrappers that I had stuffed between the headboard and the wall fluttered to the ground, and finally, that age-old question of, "where did the lunch snacks go?" and, "who ate my chocolate bar???" were answered. It was I, the Chocolate Thief.
So many more chocolate memories. Starting my day off with a good chocolate bar, saying to wondering friends, "my body doesn't know what time it is, only my brain does. And my brain wants chocolate." Cookies from subway, malt balls for snacks.
When I was in highschool and visiting up north, I went to the corner store and wanted a chocolate bar, but couldn't decide between 3 kinds, so I got them all, figuring I'd eat them all eventually. I can't tell you how angry I was at my boyfriend who had told me how grossed out he was that I'd actually eat 3 chocolate bars, and that 1 wasn't enough (seriously, I felt like he was calling me fat to my face, and I was actually very thin.)
Yes, as I said, chocolate and I go way, way, WAY back.
A while ago I started joking that I was addicted to chocolate. Then, a year or two ago I started seriously considering that I was. Then, recently, I looked into it further, and have come to the realization that I most definitely AM addicted to chocolate. I show so many of the symptoms of having an addiction that there's really no doubt about it.
Here's the list of symptoms I show:
1) Tolerance - the need for more in order to have the desired effect (SO true. Chocolate bars rarely cut it now, and when I crave chocolate, I want REAL chocolate, like a rich, decadent cake.)
2) Withdrawal - umm, self-explanatory and most definitely present.
3) Difficulty cutting down - try the fact that I was having SOMEthing chocolate every single day. I couldn't remember the last time I'd gone ONE DAY without chocolate.
4) Extreme mood changes
5) Weight loss or gain - I'm sure I've gained weight for other reasons than simply eating chocolate, but it's definitely up there.
6) Secretiveness - Hahahahaha, yes, there have been times when I've been secretive. Like when I get chocolate and eat it all without ever telling Matthew. Or when I eat all the Werthers Chocolate in one sitting and then hide the wrappers in the laundry room garbage so Matthew doesn't see them all in the upstairs garbage and KNOW that I ate all that chocolate.
7) Lying - Oh, you mean making 8 cookies so I could have 4, and then convince Matthew that I only made 6, and therefore only ate 2???
8) Stealing - So I don't steal a whole lot these days, but if Matthew has something chocolate that he doesn't eat within a few days, it's gone.
9) Repeated unexplained outings, often with a sense of urgency - yes, but usually it's an explained outing in which I drag Matthew to multiple corner stores looking for the exact chocolate bar that I'm craving because nothing else will do.
So there. I'm sure there are funny stories that I'm missing, but I have to save what little shreds of self-respect I have left, and not share EVERYthing. Because I was already sharing a big one, 'fessing up about that Skor bar (and for the record, I was a kid at the time. Probably 8 or 9.)
Anyway, as you can see from my experiences, I am addicted to chocolate. It is my frenemy. I love it, because it tastes so good, and I hate it because it's bad for me. I love it because it makes me feel happy, and I hate it because it has me completely bound and dependent on it. I'm such an emotional eater, and lately I've noticed that whatever emotion I'm feeling, chocolate will always make it better.
Angry? Chocolate can help.
Sad? Let chocolate melt it all away.
Happy? Let's celebrate by eating chocolate!
Okay, so I lied. Not every emotion is made all the better with chocolate. Feelings of guilt and a deflated self-worth are made worse when I give in, and because "giving in" had been happening daily, I was feeling pretty crummy about myself.
So I've decided to swear myself off of chocolate. Not for good, but for a while. A long while. A YEAR while. Or, as I mentioned in my previous post, until I get pregnant again (which helps on days where a year sounds like a long time.) I honestly don't know what I'd prefer. I want to do this. I feel like I need to do it for my self-esteem, to prove to myself that I can, and to accomplish something. I'm not very good at the whole temperance and self-mastery thing, but I can change that, and I will.
It has been *HARD* so far. I've been about to give in so many times, but I don't for whatever reason, and I always feel good about myself, going to bed and knowing another day has passed and I still haven't caved. Now I have the momentum of 17 days behind me, and a month is feeling very attainable. And if I can do one month, then what's to stop me from doing 2?
Yes, I crave chocolate. Yes, I'm addicted, and yes we're long-time frenemies. But I CAN kick this. I WILL kick it. And you know what? I'm going to look great when it's all done. Not because I'll have lost weight (even though I hope to.) Not because my skin will clear up (seriously, at this age, it'd be a miracle,) and not because I'll have lost that feral glint in my eye that says the addiction is hitting me hard and I need chocolate STAT. No, I'll look good because I'll walk with a little more self-confidence. I'll have built my self-respect, and I'll have conquered something that was really hard to do. Because I'm awesome, and I can do hard things. Yes, it's going to be a good year.
So what is it that you crave? What are your frenemies? Do share, and make me feel a little more human and normal!
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Sunday, May 23, 2010
The umpteenth update...you bored yet?
I'm sorry I've been neglectful of my blog of late! I guess there are a few reasons.
One, I've been doing lots of family-ish things, and they've been keeping me a little pre-occupied.
Two, I haven't been taking many photos, so I haven't been posting, because I feel like there's not much to post about.
And three, I've been feeling unmotivated when it comes to posting on here, mostly because I feel like people barely ever read it, and that it's not really worth the effort it takes in my too-seldom spare time to post, when I could be writing in my journal. I know there ARE people who read it, but...I don't know.
I'm not fishing for comments or anything (REALLY!) but when I post some posts that don't get ANY comments, it's a bit of a downer. Like, is there anyone there? Is my blog filling its purpose of keeping people informed as to what's going on in our lives? Do I WANT to keep up the energy informing people, when I could be keeping a more personal and meaningful record in my written journal? What is the point of it all?
You, reader. Are you reading my blog? Who are you? Where did you come from? Do I know you in real life? Or in blog life? Am I talking to cyber-space?
**sigh** (that wasn't just a cyber-sigh, that was for reals)
Anyway, enough whining, and onward! The show must go on, and I really did come on here with the purpose of writing an update. But first, because they cheer me up like nothing else, some pictures of the handsome mister I call Eli.
One, I've been doing lots of family-ish things, and they've been keeping me a little pre-occupied.
Two, I haven't been taking many photos, so I haven't been posting, because I feel like there's not much to post about.
And three, I've been feeling unmotivated when it comes to posting on here, mostly because I feel like people barely ever read it, and that it's not really worth the effort it takes in my too-seldom spare time to post, when I could be writing in my journal. I know there ARE people who read it, but...I don't know.
I'm not fishing for comments or anything (REALLY!) but when I post some posts that don't get ANY comments, it's a bit of a downer. Like, is there anyone there? Is my blog filling its purpose of keeping people informed as to what's going on in our lives? Do I WANT to keep up the energy informing people, when I could be keeping a more personal and meaningful record in my written journal? What is the point of it all?
You, reader. Are you reading my blog? Who are you? Where did you come from? Do I know you in real life? Or in blog life? Am I talking to cyber-space?
**sigh** (that wasn't just a cyber-sigh, that was for reals)
Anyway, enough whining, and onward! The show must go on, and I really did come on here with the purpose of writing an update. But first, because they cheer me up like nothing else, some pictures of the handsome mister I call Eli.
Killer smile. The greatest was when he was fine, went to Matt's mum for a whole split-second before he started crying, was passed back to me, turned to Matt's mum, smiled, and then chuckled. Like, "heh, I've got you all trained, and it's only been 3 1/2 months!"
A not-so-great photo of me, but a cute one of my grand-dad and Eli. I couldn't get one where we were all looking at the camera, so you can't see the whole 4-generations (minus my dad) of the same eyes, but it's there, trust me on this one. My grand-dad is so cute. He's very English, and half the time I needed him to repeat what he was saying before I could process it in time. I felt bad! I felt like I SHOULD know what he's saying, but it went right over my head.
Elijah's first bonfire ever! We bundled him up one mild Monday evening and went to Matt's parent's for a bonfire with mum, dad, Rob, Kira, Aaron, Rachelle and Terrah. I of course worried the whole evening that he wasn't warm enough, or at least until he was bundled in 2 blankets and asleep in my arms in front of the fire. We had such a nice time, although it wasn't quite complete. It never really is when we're all gathered together and Joel and Heidi aren't there.
Cute photo of the two of them, right before Terrah started sucking Elijah's face. Apparently skin makes her hungry! Nom nom nom nom...
Okay, so they're not all of Eli, but she's so darn cute and pretty, I couldn't help myself. Check out those bright bright eyes!
How can you say 'no' to a face like that?
(and I'm sure there's some yuk-yuk out there who'd love to leave a comment saying, "no" just because they think it's terribly funny, but really. He's only 4 months old. You're not supposed to say no to them yet! And it really wouldn't be that funny anyway. Just so you know. ;)
I'm kinda impressed with myself for taking this photo. I can't take all the credit, Elijah is the one who likes to contort himself into all sorts of funny positions, but I'm so glad I caught it on camera. I love him to bits, and have taken to chomping on his arm. I see what people mean about a baby being so cute you could eat them! The greatest part of it, though, is that Elijah loves being bitten (gently of course, although the harder you chomp the happier he is) and it's one of the few ways we can get him to laugh.
And what post of baby photos would be truly complete without one of delicious baby feet?
There. I feel better now. He makes me so happy.
So, on to the update. I'm going to talk all taboo here for a moment, and yes, it involves poop.
When I got my wisdom tooth out last Monday I had to eat liquids for a few days, which meant getting fibre was difficult, if not impossible. That affected Eli, resulting in an entire WEEK of not pooping! So I brought him to the doctor this past Monday, was told to have him drink some water out of a bottle (totally doesn't know what to do with the bottle. Prefers chewing on the end rather than sucking.) and I was also prescribed some glycerine suppositories. For him. NOT me. Ha.
(AH, aside. Funny moment today: when Matthew went on about the suppository and how it was probably the device that puts it in his bum that made him cry, and then the look on his face when I told him (twice, because he didn't understand at first) that there WAS no device. You just stick it in. On your own. Ahhhh, the laughter when he clued in! And ohhhh the things I do for that little boy! I'm sure some day I'll even be impervious to boogers, but that day has not yet come.)
Anyway, he made good use of the suppository, but then nothing again until yesterday. And the reason I'm writing about this is, I never thought I would be so ridiculously happy for a poopy diaper! And when he pooped on his own again today, there was cheering. And maybe a little bragging. And if he'd only open that fist of his, there'd have been high-fiving too.
So anyway, at the doctor's last Monday he was weighed and measured for length. At his 2-month appointment he weighed 12 lb's 3 oz and 24.5-25" long. Monday, just 2 months later, he weighed 14 lb 15 oz (so over 2.5 lb's weight gain, which is not bad) and...are you ready for this? 28". Yes, you read that right. 28. 2. 8.
Now, some people don't get how big that is. It's 97th percentile, meaning he's longer than 97% of 4-month olds, and that was at 3.5 months. Oh, and the best part of all (yes, that was a bit of sarcasm) is that his carseat only goes to 29", so in another inch and a bit he'll be too big. At four flipping months!!! I knew Glanfields were tall, but THIS tall? As a baby? So we're probably going to buy a 3-in-1 carseat instead that will grow with him and save the rear-facing (once he's out of it) for hopefully-someday-baby#2. But really, this was supposed to last him a year.
He's doing so well though. He has discovered his hands and is carefully grabbing for things, though it's more experimental right now. So cute to watch. He rolls over occasionally from front to back and twists onto his side when he's on his back but has not yet rolled the other way. He twists onto his side and sleeps that way. And yes, he's still in the bedroom with us. I just don't feel ready putting him alone in his bedroom yet.
I don't know what else to update on on the Elijah front. What's new with Matt and I...
Not much really. My life, at least, revolves around Elijah, and looking after him. He's been sleeping through the night really well, but only naps for 1-2 hours all day, and even that is broken down to 2 or 3 naps, so I don't have a lot of free time to keep my house clean and do stuff. It's tiring, but I'm not complaining. I love him and Matthew and I can't think of any better way to pass my time.
Oh, here's something new with me! I'm not eating chocolate. Like, at all. And before you think I can't do it, let me tell you, I've already gone 10 days. Soon to be 11! I'm so proud of me, because it has been HARD. Like, grouchy, hard. I'll have to save the whys for another post, but I'm going to do it for a year or until I get pregnant again (so probably the year. Ha.) See, the "when/if I get pregnant again" is working out really well for me, because I'm not thinking the whole time that it's for a year (which seems so unattainable 10 days in), but rather that it's for some unspecified period of time which might end up being no time at all. I can handle that. And then, if I DO get pregnant again, it'd be fun to tell Matt by ordering a big chocolate-y dessert at Kelsey's and seeing his reaction. Some days that's about all that's keeping me from caving. That, and realizing that life is easier when I'm not being ruled by my addiction. Because it IS an addiction. But, like I said. That's for another post entirely.
Anyway, I'm going to go to bed now. I'm working on going to bed before 11, rather than being a fool with a baby and yet still goes to bed at 12 or 12:30 (true story.)
So good night, and I'll try to post again in a couple days, after I have pictures of the May-day fest and fireworks tomorrow evening at Matt's parents. Hurray!
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
New Blog
This will be a really quick post as it's late and I'm very sleepy. But I had to spread the news!
Lately I had been feeling like starting a new blog. One with more focus than this one which, great as it is for writing ramblings and updates, is otherwise quite directionless. But I had no idea what to do this blog on.
Then it came to me.
I'll have a real, live photography blog!
So I got it all set up, and I'm ready to tell other people about it. The idea is that I share what I have learned about photography with other people. See, I've found that a lot of people feel that photography and taking nice photos is completely out of their realm, and that dSLRs are beyond them and will be evermore, but that is simply not true. I don't feel like it has taken much for me to learn to take better photos, and while I don't feel that my photos are that amazing, I KNOW they're a lot better than they were a year ago, and worlds better than 2 years ago.
So my blog will be a record of my photography-learning experience, so that others can look back on my journey and learn with me, and also realize that they can do it too, because, hey, look at what my photos USED to be compared to now.
I know I'm rambling as I am wont to do, but seriously, here's my inspiration. Not the current page of photos that this amazing photographer takes, but rather the knowledge that, just more than 2 years ago, she was at my level. Really! There's not one single photo on that page that I don't think I could take. And if she can go from that to what she is capable of today in just 2 years, then I can too.
My other motivation for starting this other blog is that it will be a good starting off point for when I actually open my own photography business. I know I'll do it someday, once I feel more confident that my photos will turn out the way I intended them. Right now I feel that it's hit and miss. But I'll get there. Hopefully soon!
Anyway, here's the link to my new photog blog (and no, that's not a typo. Just try saying it. Isn't "photog blog" way funner to say than "photo blog"?)
www.hollysdiyphotography.blogspot.com
If you do go to the website, start at the intro. It'll make a lot more sense if you start there.
So, enjoy!
Lately I had been feeling like starting a new blog. One with more focus than this one which, great as it is for writing ramblings and updates, is otherwise quite directionless. But I had no idea what to do this blog on.
Then it came to me.
I'll have a real, live photography blog!
So I got it all set up, and I'm ready to tell other people about it. The idea is that I share what I have learned about photography with other people. See, I've found that a lot of people feel that photography and taking nice photos is completely out of their realm, and that dSLRs are beyond them and will be evermore, but that is simply not true. I don't feel like it has taken much for me to learn to take better photos, and while I don't feel that my photos are that amazing, I KNOW they're a lot better than they were a year ago, and worlds better than 2 years ago.
So my blog will be a record of my photography-learning experience, so that others can look back on my journey and learn with me, and also realize that they can do it too, because, hey, look at what my photos USED to be compared to now.
I know I'm rambling as I am wont to do, but seriously, here's my inspiration. Not the current page of photos that this amazing photographer takes, but rather the knowledge that, just more than 2 years ago, she was at my level. Really! There's not one single photo on that page that I don't think I could take. And if she can go from that to what she is capable of today in just 2 years, then I can too.
My other motivation for starting this other blog is that it will be a good starting off point for when I actually open my own photography business. I know I'll do it someday, once I feel more confident that my photos will turn out the way I intended them. Right now I feel that it's hit and miss. But I'll get there. Hopefully soon!
Anyway, here's the link to my new photog blog (and no, that's not a typo. Just try saying it. Isn't "photog blog" way funner to say than "photo blog"?)
www.hollysdiyphotography.blogspot.com
If you do go to the website, start at the intro. It'll make a lot more sense if you start there.
So, enjoy!
Monday, May 10, 2010
Mostly photos
This post will be mostly photos, to make up for the lack of photos in my last post! Although, I have to warn you, none of the photos are recent. But I'll get to that later.
First, an update.
We're doing really well. I went to Time Out for Women this past weekend, and it was AMAZING. Seriously. Can't wait until it comes out on dvd. I'm glad I was able to get so much out of it, considering how I had Elijah with me. I was distracted for a good portion of some of the workshops, but that's okay. It happens when you bring your baby.
So it was Elijah's first trip away from home, and first car-ride that was longer than 30 minutes. The way there he was fine, the way home, not so much. He's started screaming when he's tired lately, and has been having trouble getting to sleep unless we're at home, so my mobility has been lessened significantly. I still try to get out, but I can feel it wearing on me, being out with him when he can't sleep in his own bed. I *think* he's falling into a bit of a schedule, but I'm not sure yet. It can't come fast enough! I shouldn't complain though. He sleeps through the night, and is down for a good 10-11 hours total before he is up for the day (only one feed in there.) So hurrah for that!
Also, he is now rolling over (3 times in 2 days!) and I'm pretty sure he has discovered his hands. It's so cute.
As for me, I'm not doing so well. I had my one and only wisdom tooth pulled today in the dentist's chair, and I think I envy the people who get to get knocked out for it. It would have been less damaging on my psyche, not being conscious for every tug and pull, but then again, the process only lasted 5 minutes, and then I could walk away and even go clothes shopping. I ate warm (but not hot) cabbage rolls for dinner and Matthew made me a big milkshake. I guess I can expect it to hurt for the next few days. And it DOES hurt. At first, not so much, but it's aching right now and I should really be in bed. I won't make this too long.
One more thing about the wisdom tooth thing. It was SO surreal. I think because normally having your wisdom teeth removed is a months long process that involves consults, visits to a number of dentists, and then a months-long waiting list to have the procedure done. I, on the other hand, experienced a 2-week process, from the time of the x-ray to extraction. I feel so fortunate, especially given how inexpensive it was ($114!) but at the same time, I think I've spent more time in the dentist's chair than most, so this is kind of making up for that. I really like my new dentist too - the needles didn't even hurt, and I'm oh so scared of the needles!
Anyway, not too much else is new with Matthew, Elijah and I. I celebrated my first mother's day yesterday, and the only word I can think to use for it is anti-climatic. Okay, so if I sit here long enough, other words come to mind, like nice, happy, and good, but it wasn't the big fanfare event that I thought it was going to be. Maybe it's because, while experiencing infertility, mother's day was kind of a dreadful day. It was a reminder of what I was NOT and what I so dearly wanted to be. I think I expected the day to be as equally blissful as it was painful, but it wasn't. Or maybe it's just that, sweetness and overall life happiness replaced the pain, rather than consuming, top-of-the-roller-coaster, "I can't contain my joy" excitement. And so my first mother's day was...nice. Does that make sense?
So today, rather than getting the things done that I needed to, I instead sat on my computer and played around with photoshop. The tutorial in the program helped me to learn some new tricks, and I am AMAZED at the difference it has already made for my photos. I feel like I'm getting closer and closer to being able to do this 'professionally', by which I mean, for other people.
Here are some examples of old photos that I've gone back and retouched.
Before:
After:
Before:
After:
Before:
After:
Before:
After:
Before:
After:
Before:
After:
So there. All it took was some cropping, a few layers, and a couple actions here and there. Who knew I could learn so much in a day?
And now, I really must go to bed. My head is aching more and more as time goes on and I think sleep will help.
First, an update.
We're doing really well. I went to Time Out for Women this past weekend, and it was AMAZING. Seriously. Can't wait until it comes out on dvd. I'm glad I was able to get so much out of it, considering how I had Elijah with me. I was distracted for a good portion of some of the workshops, but that's okay. It happens when you bring your baby.
So it was Elijah's first trip away from home, and first car-ride that was longer than 30 minutes. The way there he was fine, the way home, not so much. He's started screaming when he's tired lately, and has been having trouble getting to sleep unless we're at home, so my mobility has been lessened significantly. I still try to get out, but I can feel it wearing on me, being out with him when he can't sleep in his own bed. I *think* he's falling into a bit of a schedule, but I'm not sure yet. It can't come fast enough! I shouldn't complain though. He sleeps through the night, and is down for a good 10-11 hours total before he is up for the day (only one feed in there.) So hurrah for that!
Also, he is now rolling over (3 times in 2 days!) and I'm pretty sure he has discovered his hands. It's so cute.
As for me, I'm not doing so well. I had my one and only wisdom tooth pulled today in the dentist's chair, and I think I envy the people who get to get knocked out for it. It would have been less damaging on my psyche, not being conscious for every tug and pull, but then again, the process only lasted 5 minutes, and then I could walk away and even go clothes shopping. I ate warm (but not hot) cabbage rolls for dinner and Matthew made me a big milkshake. I guess I can expect it to hurt for the next few days. And it DOES hurt. At first, not so much, but it's aching right now and I should really be in bed. I won't make this too long.
One more thing about the wisdom tooth thing. It was SO surreal. I think because normally having your wisdom teeth removed is a months long process that involves consults, visits to a number of dentists, and then a months-long waiting list to have the procedure done. I, on the other hand, experienced a 2-week process, from the time of the x-ray to extraction. I feel so fortunate, especially given how inexpensive it was ($114!) but at the same time, I think I've spent more time in the dentist's chair than most, so this is kind of making up for that. I really like my new dentist too - the needles didn't even hurt, and I'm oh so scared of the needles!
Anyway, not too much else is new with Matthew, Elijah and I. I celebrated my first mother's day yesterday, and the only word I can think to use for it is anti-climatic. Okay, so if I sit here long enough, other words come to mind, like nice, happy, and good, but it wasn't the big fanfare event that I thought it was going to be. Maybe it's because, while experiencing infertility, mother's day was kind of a dreadful day. It was a reminder of what I was NOT and what I so dearly wanted to be. I think I expected the day to be as equally blissful as it was painful, but it wasn't. Or maybe it's just that, sweetness and overall life happiness replaced the pain, rather than consuming, top-of-the-roller-coaster, "I can't contain my joy" excitement. And so my first mother's day was...nice. Does that make sense?
So today, rather than getting the things done that I needed to, I instead sat on my computer and played around with photoshop. The tutorial in the program helped me to learn some new tricks, and I am AMAZED at the difference it has already made for my photos. I feel like I'm getting closer and closer to being able to do this 'professionally', by which I mean, for other people.
Here are some examples of old photos that I've gone back and retouched.
Before:
After:
Before:
After:
(L - I gave you green eyes because I couldn't tell if they were green or grey. I tried doing grey, but I couldn't figure it out in photoshop. Really I was just messing around. I hope you don't mind having green eyes in this photo! AND if there are any of your wedding photos that you want me to work on retouching, I'll be more than happy to try. Just let me know the numbers. :D )
Before:
After:
Before:
After:
Before:
After:
Before:
After:
So there. All it took was some cropping, a few layers, and a couple actions here and there. Who knew I could learn so much in a day?
And now, I really must go to bed. My head is aching more and more as time goes on and I think sleep will help.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Sans photos
This post won't have any photos. I'm sorry! It's just, Matthew and I have been BUSY lately, and the busy-ness hasn't really involved picture-taking. But I wanted to do an update anyway, which is, afterall, the point of this blog.
We're doing really well. Last week Matthew and I celebrated our 5-year anniversary! That sounds like such a long time (one fifth of my life!) and yet like nothing at all. It feels like we've done a lot in the last 5 years, and have some great things to show for our time together. Some tangible things, like our house, the business, our pets, and our little boy, and some intangible things, like knowledge gained through school and life experiences, wonderful memories, and a love more beautiful and great than we thought possible.
We kind of celebrated over the course of a few days. It was wonderful, spending so much time with Matthew over the weekend, but it admittedly made him going back to work today harder than it normally is.
On our actual anniversary we went out for breakfast, did a little shopping, relaxed, made and ate delicious ribs (a new favourite in our house), and watched Avatar. I hadn't seen it before, and I really liked it! Then the next day we ran some errands, picked some things up across the border and enjoyed lunch at a friend's house over there. I don't remember what we did in the evening Friday. Saturday we bought Matthew a new computer (so that he can play Starcraft 2 beta version) and some new t-shirts, and chilled. Then in the evening Rob and Kira came over and we had a great time hanging out with them. I'll say this on here because I'm pretty sure neither of them read this, but I really hope Kira sticks around. She's a keeper for sure, and I'd love to have her as a sister-in-law. She nicely completes the balance.
Anyway, yesterday we had church, choir, came home, took naps, ate dinner, and went to Matt's grandmother's for cake and ice-cream.
Today I tried clothes shopping on my own with Elijah. It's something I don't think I'll be repeating any time soon. He got really bored and fussy sitting in his carseat in the changeroom with me and would only stop crying if the stroller was in motion. Seriously, he would cry if I stopped pushing it forwards and backwards long enough to put my debit card back in my wallet! 3 months old and he already hates shopping.
Then tonight we had our first bonfire of the year (or for Elijah, first bonfire of his life!) at Matt's parents. We had a great time roasting marshmallows and just enjoying the beautiful weather.
Anyway, that's pretty much what we've been up to. It's nothing life-changing, it's just the little day-to-day things that contribute single strands of colour to the big and beautiful tapestry that is our life.
I've been working more on my day zero list, and I decided this evening that I want to jog in the Rankin Run for Cancer on May 29th. It's quite ambitious of me, as I've hardly been on the treadmill lately, but I think I can do it. I just need to work out every week day and work myself up to the 5k that I used to do. I hope to be able to jog the whole thing, but I'm not going to push myself too hard, because apparently that can increase your lactic acid levels and make your breastmilk go sour. And I wouldn't do that to my Eli.
Another thing that I've been working on lately is not feeling contention. Do you know how hard it is to swallow anger, and not fan the flame? Personally, I like to fan the flame. It feels good to rage, I'm going to be honest. But it is damaging to relationships, and sets a terrible example for Elijah, not to mention the fact that it drives the spirit from my home and sets all who see me into a grouchy mood if they're not careful. I don't want to "cast bad fruit" anymore, and I want to feel better about myself, so I'm trying really hard to take a more relaxed approach to life and not get angry, or quell the anger when I feel it coming on. Surprisingly, I feel the most tempted to get contentious when I'm in the car. It doesn't matter if I'm driving, I just get really annoyed by other drivers around me. So I'm working on that.
Oh, new in the life of Matthew: a sale this week at work, a new website up and running where he can post game replays and make money from ads, a new computer paid for by the business and our tax return so that he can play Starcraft 2, and a talk this weekend coming on mothers or respect. It's his choice. And I'm loving it. I can't wait to hear what he has to say, and not because I think, or even HOPE he'll talk about me. I just love when Matthew gives talks or teaches lessons at church.
Other than that, I'm going to Time Out for Women this weeked and I am way too excited. It'll be Elijah's first trip away from home, so that should be interesting. I'm looking forward to hearing the speakers and being spiritually rejuvenated. I feel like I need that right now.
So that's pretty much it! Like I said, we've been busy, but with little things. Life is good, happy and beautiful, even when I'm down, glum or grouchy, and I *think* I'm getting better at realizing that. It's a constant battle, but it's one I will win.
And now it's late and I really need to go to bed. I've been consistently going to bed between 11:30 and 12:30 lately, and that is just about the stupidest thing ever, in my opinion. Elijah has been going down between 8 and 9, so I'm wasting precious sleep time! But it IS nice to wind down. Which is what I'm going to do now.
We're doing really well. Last week Matthew and I celebrated our 5-year anniversary! That sounds like such a long time (one fifth of my life!) and yet like nothing at all. It feels like we've done a lot in the last 5 years, and have some great things to show for our time together. Some tangible things, like our house, the business, our pets, and our little boy, and some intangible things, like knowledge gained through school and life experiences, wonderful memories, and a love more beautiful and great than we thought possible.
We kind of celebrated over the course of a few days. It was wonderful, spending so much time with Matthew over the weekend, but it admittedly made him going back to work today harder than it normally is.
On our actual anniversary we went out for breakfast, did a little shopping, relaxed, made and ate delicious ribs (a new favourite in our house), and watched Avatar. I hadn't seen it before, and I really liked it! Then the next day we ran some errands, picked some things up across the border and enjoyed lunch at a friend's house over there. I don't remember what we did in the evening Friday. Saturday we bought Matthew a new computer (so that he can play Starcraft 2 beta version) and some new t-shirts, and chilled. Then in the evening Rob and Kira came over and we had a great time hanging out with them. I'll say this on here because I'm pretty sure neither of them read this, but I really hope Kira sticks around. She's a keeper for sure, and I'd love to have her as a sister-in-law. She nicely completes the balance.
Anyway, yesterday we had church, choir, came home, took naps, ate dinner, and went to Matt's grandmother's for cake and ice-cream.
Today I tried clothes shopping on my own with Elijah. It's something I don't think I'll be repeating any time soon. He got really bored and fussy sitting in his carseat in the changeroom with me and would only stop crying if the stroller was in motion. Seriously, he would cry if I stopped pushing it forwards and backwards long enough to put my debit card back in my wallet! 3 months old and he already hates shopping.
Then tonight we had our first bonfire of the year (or for Elijah, first bonfire of his life!) at Matt's parents. We had a great time roasting marshmallows and just enjoying the beautiful weather.
Anyway, that's pretty much what we've been up to. It's nothing life-changing, it's just the little day-to-day things that contribute single strands of colour to the big and beautiful tapestry that is our life.
I've been working more on my day zero list, and I decided this evening that I want to jog in the Rankin Run for Cancer on May 29th. It's quite ambitious of me, as I've hardly been on the treadmill lately, but I think I can do it. I just need to work out every week day and work myself up to the 5k that I used to do. I hope to be able to jog the whole thing, but I'm not going to push myself too hard, because apparently that can increase your lactic acid levels and make your breastmilk go sour. And I wouldn't do that to my Eli.
Another thing that I've been working on lately is not feeling contention. Do you know how hard it is to swallow anger, and not fan the flame? Personally, I like to fan the flame. It feels good to rage, I'm going to be honest. But it is damaging to relationships, and sets a terrible example for Elijah, not to mention the fact that it drives the spirit from my home and sets all who see me into a grouchy mood if they're not careful. I don't want to "cast bad fruit" anymore, and I want to feel better about myself, so I'm trying really hard to take a more relaxed approach to life and not get angry, or quell the anger when I feel it coming on. Surprisingly, I feel the most tempted to get contentious when I'm in the car. It doesn't matter if I'm driving, I just get really annoyed by other drivers around me. So I'm working on that.
Oh, new in the life of Matthew: a sale this week at work, a new website up and running where he can post game replays and make money from ads, a new computer paid for by the business and our tax return so that he can play Starcraft 2, and a talk this weekend coming on mothers or respect. It's his choice. And I'm loving it. I can't wait to hear what he has to say, and not because I think, or even HOPE he'll talk about me. I just love when Matthew gives talks or teaches lessons at church.
Other than that, I'm going to Time Out for Women this weeked and I am way too excited. It'll be Elijah's first trip away from home, so that should be interesting. I'm looking forward to hearing the speakers and being spiritually rejuvenated. I feel like I need that right now.
So that's pretty much it! Like I said, we've been busy, but with little things. Life is good, happy and beautiful, even when I'm down, glum or grouchy, and I *think* I'm getting better at realizing that. It's a constant battle, but it's one I will win.
And now it's late and I really need to go to bed. I've been consistently going to bed between 11:30 and 12:30 lately, and that is just about the stupidest thing ever, in my opinion. Elijah has been going down between 8 and 9, so I'm wasting precious sleep time! But it IS nice to wind down. Which is what I'm going to do now.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)