I needed that

Today has been one of those days. The kind of day where I wake up with my period, Matt is rushing out the door for work, I don't have energy to make breakfast, Elijah is fussing, then crying, then squealing/screaming and nothing (let me repeat, nothing) will make him happy, and I'm sitting on the floor, staring off into space while dangling a toy in a screaming baby's face. Then I glance at the clock, and it's 9:10am. So much more time to go before it's even LUNCH. Calling a friend to vent, calling Matt to cry, eating chocolate ice cream at 10am (did I mention I'm glad I'm eating chocolate again?) and staring around at the messy messy house, determined to not clean it, even though it'll make me feel better.

Don't worry, my day didn't turn out so poorly as it started, but it was a bit of a doozy. I resolved to get something for myself done, so I bunkered down and sewed Matt's new apron that I was putting together for him. Yes, it was an apron for Matt, because he does all the cooking, and on Sundays he's wearing a white dress-shirt that he doesn't like getting dirty, so for 5 years he's worn my "Pampered Bride" one, and I thought it was time for a manlier apron. It has brown and black stripes and I'm oh so proud.

But anyway, my day. It was a bad day for Elijah. He was seldom happy the entire day, though he did take a number of naps. Matt stayed home from work from 3pm on to help out (SO grateful) but Eli even screamed like a banshee for Matt. It was tough. Then this evening we went to the beach and he was a little doll, so that made up for it a lot. Until he started screaming again! Except it didn't feel so bad when it wasn't non-stop. I can take it in small chunks!

I know I'm rambling now. I'd say I'm sorry, but it'd be a lie. It's my blog! I can ramble.

So, all in all, it was an okay day. The tubing this evening was fun (though painful at times) and the lake was beautiful and the perfect temperature. We had McDonalds for dinner which was just what I wanted (gross, huh? But I think I'm low on salt right now because all I've been wanting are McDonalds fries) and then we headed home, Elijah back to screaming his little head off, bless his heart.

He's in bed now, and I'm thinking that he's going to be in the crib starting tomorrow (but don't tell Matt, just in case I change my mind. Don't want him getting his hopes up.)

I feel pooped though. There were little rays of beautiful light today, but there were so many rough spots too, where I feel like I can't handle it alone.

Then, I went to lds.org and saw this video:

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WbYLKVgwztY&hl=en_GB&fs=1]

And all I can say (through the tears and near-sobbing) is, "I needed that."