Elijah

Well, I went to the appointment with the speech pathologist on Wednesday, and it was...interesting. I want to say it was bad, but it really wasn't. I just wish Elijah weren't behind, and the appointment confirmed that he is.

Of course, it's hard to assess an 18-month-old's speech in the short 30-40 minutes that she was meeting with us, so the main part of the test was actually her asking me questions of things that he did. Some examples are:

-would you say he understands at least 50 words? (I estimated more like 30 words)
-can he point to 4-6 body parts? (he can do ears, when he's in the mood. Sometimes nose.)
-does he point to pictures in a book when reading together? (nope, he likes to turn the pages really fast...)
-does he begin routines when prompted verbally? (eg - when you say "it's bath-time" does he go to the bathroom/tub? I answered 'no')
-does he imitate words that we say, even if he doesn't know what they mean? (nope, he's never even imitated sounds, let alone words.)

And so on and so on. Also on the list was if he could say at least 20 words. The obvious answer to that is 'no' because he has yet to say his first word.

It was discouraging, to say the least, and what makes it more frustrating is that nobody seems to be as worried about it as I am (except the SLP, who has said that he qualifies for treatment.)

There was good news too, though. The first is that, 'normal' development has a +/- 3-6 month range, which would put Elijah back at 12 months. Given that a 12-month old may or may not even have their first word, he's okay.

Also, the SLP said that one question she asks herself when doing these meetings is, "Is he on a different developmental path, or is just behind on the normal path?" As in, is his speech developing in a way that is typical for someone with autism, or is he simply behind his peers on the 'normal' path of development. She said that there is nothing to indicate that he is anything but normal, he's just behind. So that's reassuring.

She also noted that he has good eye-contact, joint attention, and turn-taking skills when playing. Which I know is good in terms of developing normally, so yay to that as well.

In short, however, he is delayed in both expressive and comprehensive language. **sigh**

So, there are things we're working on doing, in the time between now and getting in to treatment (which could take 9 months...) One of these things is pointing to everything. And I mean everything. Label everything (to some extent) but also pick the words that we're focusing on, so that he's not hearing 1000 words in a day just once or twice. Also, we're to give him choices, like, "juice or phone?" even if we know what he wants. Then, instead of reaching for the one he wants, he's to point to it. We're to shape his hand into a point, and already he's picking up on pointing to everything lately. In just 4 days! It's progress, and I'm pleased.

There are other things, but they've slipped my mind for the moment. It's funny though, because, since that appointment, I've been noticing more of what Elijah actually does do. I think he understands more than 30 words, and I'm going to start counting them. It might even be close to 50! He imitates actions a lot. Like this morning, I took a toy box and started slapping the side like a drum, and he immediately copied me. Then I took a baby toy and shook it up and down, gave it to him, and he immediately did so as well.

Anyway, I'm feeling more optimistic about it now, but I really really hate this. It's scary to think that he'll always be behind, to worry that he'll never ever speak, because he never really has. I hope that the sound that he's making are the sounds that usually precede that first word around 12 months old, but I'll have to look it up. I'm just hoping and praying he'll be okay.

And, just so I don't look back on this some day and only remember the things he doesn't do, I'm going to list a few of my favourite things that he DOES do.

-he reaches up to be picked up, even if he's just using us to get to the phone. When he's reaching, he does this cute thing with his mouth that I can't even begin to describe, but I love it. The closest I can come to describing it is putting your lips together in an 'o' and then saying "yea yea yea yea..."

-he has a phone voice that is completely different from any other voice I ever hear him use. It sounds more manly and macho, and I wonder if he gets it from his daddy.

-he's been really cuddly lately, and when he cuddles, he rests his head on your shoulder, and reaches with his arms, so that he's holding on to both of your arms at once.

-he stands underneath the plants on the deck after they've been watered, and lets the water drip all over him. Whenever he sees Nana outside, he points through the deck rails and says, "Da!" in this self-satisfied voice, like he's saying, "Look! I know her!"

-he stands in the bathtub, and while that isn't cute, his little teeny waist with his big barrel chest is soooo adorable! He looks like a body-builder, with the upside-down triangle torso.

-when I'm changing his diaper, he likes to grab my left arm and pull it against his face, or he grabs my hand and covers his face with it until I squeeze his cheeks a few times, and then he'll let go.

-when he put him down to bed, it used to be that he'd lay down and let me put the blanket on him, and would afterwards pull it off and bunch it up, but now, as soon as I put him down, he shoots up to the sitting position, bunches the blanket in a ball in his lap, and then flops over on his face, sleeping on, or hugging his blanket.

-every morning when I go to make the bed, when I fold the soft blue blanket we use, he has to run over and throw himself into it, pulling it out of my hands and rolling around in it. It's actually impossible to fold this blanket when he's around, so I usually stop what I'm doing and water the flowers on the deck to distract him.

-he's been doing really really well at church the last month and a half or so, and we haven't had to take him out at all lately. He likes to play with Papa, play with his boxes, read a book, play with his trains, and eat his snacks.

-every time we pull the highchair out he runs away laughing, and hides in a corner until we come and get him to feed him his meal, even if seconds before we pulled the chair out, he was trying to snitch food off the table

-he loves trying to use a cup and drink water, but mostly he tosses the whole cup in his face at once, so we can only give him a little bit of water at a time. If he drinks out of our glasses, he'll take a sip, go in for another one, then stop at the last second and, quick as lightning, stick his hand in the water, or juice, or pop, whatever it is we're drinking!

There is so much more this little boy does that absolutely makes my day, but my back is hurting and I need to get out of this computer chair, so I'll save it for another day.