So, precursor to this story:
We have a friend at church who is about 35, super nice, loves to read, and is a little socially awkward. He has schizophrenia, and it accounts for pretty much all of his behavioural awkwardness, so we overlook much (although I confess to snapping at him one time when he asked with concern what all those white flakes were in my hair.)
So. Rewind to last year. December 14th I got my period. December 19th was the Christmas cantata in our ward. Sure, I was probably a little bloated from my period, and yeah, I still had a baby-belly that I was too lazy to work off from 11 months before. I also had a bad habit of wearing empire-waisted shirts. Still though, I had not, as yet, had anyone ask me if I was pregnant when I wasn't.
Until S comes along, interrupting a conversation with a good friend named Tiffany. S sidles up and says, "Hey Holly, I was just wondering, are you pregnant?" I resisted the urge to feel too injured, as well as the urge to laugh in his face. It was S, afterall, and one couldn't expect him to know how socially inappropriate that sort of question is, especially worded in such a manner. I assured him I was not, and that he'd likely know when I was.
Apparently not!
Fast-forward to a week ago yesterday. Note, I am 8.5, almost 9 months pregnant by now, and looking every bit of it.
Someone stops me in the hall at church and asks to be reminded of my due date. I tell them, and walk away. S was standing there too, which I think absolutely nothing of.
Until that night, when S is trying and trying to get ahold of us because, as his message says, he has a question. Here's how the conversation with Matt went:
S - Quick question. Is it a boy or a girl? (**thinking he's being a little clever**)
M - A girl!
S - Oh. I didn't know Holly was pregnant until today. (!!!)
M - Yep, she's pretty far along!
S - When's she due?
M - October 5th.
S - So she's 7 months along?
M - Somewhere around there
S - Oh, cool. Okay. Just wanted to know. Bye.
And I laughed and laughed and laughed.
Because apparently, S got it into his mind that he should just follow the rule that, "When Holly looks pregnant, she's actually not." And it just never ever ever entered his head since the first time he thought I was and I wasn't that I could actually BE pregnant a couple months later!
Ironically, he asked me if I was pregnant on the very cycle that I got pregnant on. Which of course made me feel a little bad, but not bad enough to tell him earlier than the world in general, which we didn't do until March. I guess he never found out, though, because sharing it in Good News Time in RS doesn't entail the news making it to the ward in general, as not all men are married to RS sisters.
And apparently not all men are able to figure it out based on the bulging stomach alone.
Ohhhhh S. How we enjoy being friends with you!!
**As an aside, I don't write this meaning to make fun of S. Part of me is laughing because I'm trying to get over the fact that someone could think I'm this big and NOT have a baby in my belly. Also, I fully recognize that it's not S's fault that he is the way he is. We know that. And we like him for who he is. Sometimes, it's just really funny and interesting to see how he views the world. In this case, that world involved my ever-expanding stomach. God bless S!**
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