- Ward christmas social last week - someone thought it'd be a good idea to hire out a little bit of entertainment, and we had a quartet of male singers in to sing some old coffeeshop-style songs. They were pretty good, but my favourite part of it all was how they started out singing a traditional song that goes, "I love coffee, I love tea" and going on and on about how they love java, and they're coffee pots and pouring each other some coffee and drinking it up. Apparently it's a really common opening song, but in a gymnasium full of Mormons? It was nothing short of hilarious. I haven't laughed so hard in ages.
- We went for dinner at my dad's girlfriend's place and had the best time. Jude's family is awesome. Not only are they ridiculously nice and ate my children up, but they were so musical and fun. After dinner they wanted to sing some songs, and Matt was kind of groaning until 4 guitars, a couple ukuleles, a leather drum, and a heck of a lot of 4-part harmonies were busted out, at which point Matthew took a place on the piano bench and started playing along while the rest of us belted out Christmas songs as the kids danced in the middle. It was the sort of thing you hear about but never get to be a part of, except we DID and I feel so lucky.
- Random downer compared to my last bullet point, but I'm feeling replaced where my one close friend is concerned. See, in August Farrah came to terms with the fact that she has PPD. I tried to not over-burden her with all of my late-pregnancy emotional struggles, and then I had a baby, so we hadn't seen much of each other for a bit. Now, as more time goes on, there's this couple in our ward with 4 kids, and I KNOW they're super needy, Farrah told me so, but I can't help but feel replaced. It's always, "Dave is busy, he has plans to go out with J to play pool" or "We're going to go see Breaking Dawn with the C's" or "I'm watching the C's kids tonight for them, so I can't go out" and I'm just realizing that the friends we have might not feel like we're as good friends as we'd thought. They've started sitting with them at church and at ward socials, where beforehand they'd always sit with Dave's family. I know I'm reading into it too much, and I HATE that I'm being the needy friend. I don't want to be that person, but I still feel...I don't know. Replaced? Is that grade-school? We don't have a lot of close friends that we spend time with on a regular basis, and I feel like they are too busy with other friends to hang out with us. AND I worry that, because Matt and Dave work together, they don't want to hang out outside of work, and that it's becoming a business relationship that is strained outside of the office. And I can't even tell you how much it bugs me that I'm letting these old, high-school-like insecurities come out. I sound so 10th grade.
- I FINALLY managed to get my diap.hragm prescription filled. Apparently it was ready to be picked up today, but we celebrated Christmas today, and won't be able to pick it up until Tuesday. It works out well, actually, because I didn't want to use it until after Christmas. I don't know why, it's arbitrary, but it just felt important to me to not think about it during the Christmas season.
- So the "FINALLY" from the previous bullet point is because apparently NO distributor in Canada manufactures DP's (my acronym for 'diap.hragm') anymore. I went to a number of different pharmacies, and nope, nadda. I was getting kind of upset, like, "Well fine! We won't use ANYTHING!" upset) but it's worked out, which I feel good about. And I'm glad I feel good about it, because it feels like confirmation to me that this is what we should do.
- Matt's brother and SIL arrived on Tuesday and I have been SO busy ever since, between dinners, lunch out at all-you-can-eat-sushi places, Christmas shopping, making gifts, going to the Hobby Lobby (favourite store EVER!) and catching up.
- Weekly Wednesday Weigh-ins - I meant to write on Wednesday, and was ridiculously inspired by Josey's post on her progress, but I honestly ran out of time in the day. I've been running on 6 hours of sleep every night this week, and STILL am not finding time to do everything. My progress was not progress at all, but a 1# weight gain, bringing me up to 170#. My goal over the next week is to not gain any more weight. I plan to go about this by taking a small amount of desserts, not taking seconds of main courses, taking more meat and veggies than rolls and corn, and drinking lots of water. If the weather improves, I might attempt a jog, as my BIL has been jogging and has inspired me. So there, that's the gist of my progress.
- We took some Christmas photos today and I feel sick to my stomach when I think about how huge I look in them. It was a completely unflattering angle (somehow I wound up on the end, leaning in while sitting twisted sideways, without sucking in my gut.) Ugh. I'll post it just as motivation.
- Sometimes I really struggle with the desire to learn to photoshop myself to look thinner. I hate my body sometimes. The only thing keeping me from doing it is the sweet, little, innocent girl sleeping in the bassinet near me right now. How can I raise her to be a confident girl with a knowledge of her divine worth if I'm sitting her photoshopping my rolls off of me? This blog post and video are also helping.
- I hate how, I love my belly so much when pregnant, and hate it so much when not pregnant. It goes from being cute to disgustingly flabby, and I just...lose confidence.
- On to happier things. I found some AWESOME fabric at the Hobby Lobby and am going to be making nursing covers and a Mei Tei baby carrier (like the BabyHawk.) SO excited!
- Yesterday I realized that my nursing cover was all the way in our apartment, so I decided to try to nurse without the cover. I'm SO proud to say that it was a success, and I've done it twice since! The hilarious part though? Here I am, more than a little self-conscious, and trying to do this thing discreetly enough to be comfortable and not make others uncomfortable, but as I'm sitting down, Matt decides to "warn" the room in general that I'm about to nurse without a cover. He tries to say he did as an FYI, don't look at Holly sort of thing, but it was actually really frustrating and ironic, because it was the exact opposite of what I had wanted to do. AND it actually served to make my one BIL a little uncomfortable I think. Now I won't let Matt forget about it, because it was actually quite funny, and I did it successfully, so now I can look back and laugh about it. ;)
- Yesterday was kind of our Christmas Eve, and once Elijah went to bed we set up his train table. He absolutely loves it, and it there was quite the showdown when we went to go leave for dinner tonight and he had to be carried away amidst kicks and screams. Good times!
- Yeah, we decided to exchange gifts today. Christmas fell on a Sunday this year, and we didn't want to exchange gifts then, but instead try to keep Sunday as Sunday; time when we give service and work that brings us closer to Heavenly Father, rather than drawing us into the hype of gifts, toys and gadgets. It's bad enough the the true meaning of Christmas gets shrouded by Santa Clause. I figure that in years to come (really it'll just be once or twice while our kids are younger) we'll tell our kids how Santa knew how we like to honour the Sabbath, and decided to surprise us by bringing out gifts a day early. It doesn't sound very eloquent right now, but I've got 6 or 7 years (I'm too tired to figure out which...) to iron out the kinks in my story. ;)
- I love celebrating Christmas on Christmas Eve. It's like we get 2 days of Christmas celebrations! Well, 3 really, because my family is coming over on Monday for turkey (my first ever!)
- Tomorrow is Abigail's baby blessing in church. I can't wait.
And now I think I absolutely MUST go to bed. My eyes are closing against my will, and knowing my luck, tomorrow will be the day Elijah gets up before 7.
I think I'll do a post tomorrow, but in case I don't, I hope every has a merry little Christmas!
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