Lots has been going on with us lately, we've been really busy with Christmas celebrations and family get-togethers. I'm sure the week will only get busier and busier...I look forward to it actually! I *love* Christmastime.
That being said, however, this post will really only be about 5% what we've been up to and 95% baby update. Because I had, what I felt to be, a great appointment this morning and I have lots to say about it!
First off, weekly appointments are fun! And I love seeing how things can change in the course of a week, which I'm sure is why I'm going every week now.
Today I found out I'm Group B Strep negative, so WOO HOO, no antibiotics during labour! That means if all goes well, I won't have to be poked at all. Wouldn't that be wonderful? Also, my iron levels are looking great right now, I'm no longer anemic, so I guess the iron pills are really doing their thing. I'm going to stay on them, so that they can keep up the good work, but now I won't stress so much if I only manage to get down 2 out of 3 pills in a day, or if I have a little more milk. I've missed milk a lot, so I'm glad to not feel guilty about the random glasses I've had over the last little while.
I'm measuring right on track, and I am so excited to say that I am now full-term! No, that doesn't mean I've hit my due date, you become full term a little bit before the actual due date, but it basically means that if Elijah were to be born now, he would no longer be considered premature. He might weigh a little less now than if he stayed in longer, but these last few weeks are basically for adding on extra fat layers, and he'd be none the worse for wear from coming early.
So now that I'm full-term, I can start doing all the things that are supposed to induce labour. You know, drinking castor oil (HA! As if I'd actually down that stuff...) eat pineapple (no thank-you!) and going for long walks (in this temperature? I think I'll pass.) There are other methods that sound more appealing to me, however, like acupressure, eating spicy foods, having massages, and drinking certain herbal concoctions in the form of herbal tea. I think even the walking wouldn't be too bad on windless days like today. OR maybe I can just go to the mall...that would involve lots of walking!
In reality, none of these things will bring on labour if my body is not already ready for it. But it'll be fun to try, and who knows when my body will actually be ready?
Which leads me to another thing from my appointment today. I have apparently been having contractions! SUPER mild, not even once a day every day contractions, but contractions nonetheless. Excited? I should think so! I wasn't totally sure if that's what I had been feeling, but I had suspected as much, because when I described what I have been feeling, it sounded like how you'd describe a contraction. Like, starting out feeling like a light period cramp, and then my lower back hurting too, like a belt of pain, and then it'd go away. I felt one Sunday, none yesterday at all, and one today. SO not even enough to bother timing and seeing how many minutes (hours, days...) were in between each one. But it's apparently a really good sign of my body getting ready.
We also figured the reason for these random contractions is because of the baby's positioning. He's still head down and anterior (YAY) and he's gone from being "I'd call that engaged" to "wow, he's very engaged" with a look of surprise from my midwife. Thrills, I tell you, THRILLS. She said she couldn't move his head around at all, it was too deep in my pelvis. Hence the random contractions and weakness when walking.
Pretty freaking excited.
So I've discovered that it's really difficult to expect to go late when you're hoping and hoping to go early. Way more difficult than I thought it'd be. I'd love to think everything I've been feeling points towards going early, but in reality, I know that it doesn't and that I could still go a week or two late and it'd still be in the realm of normal. If nothing else, however, I'm glad to know that my body is behaving as it should and getting ready.
I get asked a lot if I'm getting nervous or anxious. I tend to respond to this questions with, "I'm trying to not think about it," but I don't think this is the right way to answer, because most often people either apologize for bringing it up, or say, "Okay, we won't talk about it then," which is kindof like saying there's lots to talk about that I'm just avoiding. That's not it at all though. I guess what I really mean is I'm trying to not dwell on the pain and how much it's going to hurt. I know it'll hurt, I know there's no way to know how much, and I know that I'll get through it. I also know that the more I fear the pain, the more it'll hurt (ironic, isn't it?) So I just look at the pain as an eventuality. At some point in the future I will feel a whole lot of pain. That much is certain, but then, no pain, no gain right? Feeling the pain means gaining this little baby inside of me. And as I think and type this out, I realize that I'm kindof looking forward to the pain and the process because of how special it is.
Would I feel so okay with pain if it were a kidney transplant or a knee replacement? No, definitely not. That pain is all hurt. But this pain will be hurt mingled with joy.
So there's my take on it. Now, how on earth I would explain that to someone asking me and expecting a simple answer, I have no clue. **sigh** Oh well. It's a good conversation piece anyway. ;)
I think one reason I'm looking forward to labour and delivery so much (apart from the obvious) is because I've decided recently (like, a week and a half ago) to have a home birth. At first I was unsure of this decision, but the more time passes, the better I feel. Take the pain, for example. When I picture being in pain and delivering at the hospital, I do feel nervous and anxious. I feel like there is so much unknown territory, and I feel this little ball of tension growing in my chest. When I picture the same thing at home, however, I feel a warm fuzzy feeling that speaks peace to the tension and settles me in a way that actually really surprises me. It's a lot more to prepare for, and it makes me feel a little stressed about the condition of the house right now, and the fact that the Christmas decorations are still up (and yes, I realize Christmas hasn't even passed yet...) but I feel...confident. I don't know how else to put it. Also, the idea of Matt leaving me when I'm in labour to call and give updates to excited grandparents (to be!) is a lot less upsetting when I imagine him going downstairs to the kitchen to use the phone, rather than down the hall to some unknown place. Am I making sense?
So there. To be honest, I wasn't even sure if I'd mention my decision to do a home birth on my blog at all. I'm still not totally sure why I did, I think it's because I'm excited about it. My worry was that I'd get all these well-meaning people warning me against it and what a bad idea it was and how babies DIE at home births and how dangerous they are, and I just don't feel like hearing about that. I don't think anyone can or will tell me anything I haven't heard and considered already, so (in the nicest way possible...!) please don't badger me with those comments, as I'll just ignore you and do what I feel is right for me, Matthew, and the baby. And I really really do feel that this is right and good.
I think that's all of the baby stuff I wanted to mention today. I'm getting more excited by the minute! I want labour to happen, and not so that I can be relieved of this burden and take back my body. In fact, I hardly feel like that at all; I don't feel remotely as lousy as I expected to feel this far along. No, I want labour to happen for the simple reason that I want to meet this little baby who has been kicking me. I want to see his chubby cheeks, hold him in my arms, and just revel in his sweetness and newness. THAT'S what I'm getting impatient for. It's a little harder now, being full term, and knowing that he'd be safe if he came now, and still needing to wait. My baby ticker countdown tells me it'll be soon though. And that's just until my due date! It's hard to believe that if he came early, it'd be even sooner than soon. Ahh, and there's the familiar feeling of disbelief sinking in...
Anyway, I'll just wrap this up with some *ACTUAL* Matt and Holly updates. As in, what we've been up to these last few days.
Saturday I had a glorious day with Matthew. We haven't had a Saturday off together since early October. We ran errands, fixed the fan in our bathroom, made buttertarts, played some new games that we bought, and just relaxed. Then in the evening we had dinner at his grandmother's place in celebration of Christmas, because they're not here this week.
Saturday was church, and it was a great meeting. I especially loved Primary, and the kids who were dressed up to re-enact the nativity scene and the story of Jesus' birth. Then we came home, but not until we had made arrangements for a new driver for a couple people at church. See, every week we normally drive a couple guys we know to church, and one of them home after choir. BUT because of our baby coming, we're not going to have room for both of them, and as they live at the same place, we arranged for someone else to drive them instead. And you KNOW you're getting close when you make new plans like that! I honestly didn't mind driving them each week, but I'm seriously excited about installing the carseat and driving around with it in the backseat from now on. SERIOUSLY.
Oops, more baby. Sorry!
Sunday night was the Christmas cantata, and it was great. Our choir sounded awesome, and everyone seemed to really enjoy themselves and feel the spirit there. And, besides all that, I have never seen the chapel so packed with people. We had to open up the over flow to fit everyone, and there were still some people who opted to stand together rather than find seats not beside eachother. And then it started snowing lightly Sunday night until Monday evening, and now there's a light dusting of white, making everything feel more Christmas-y.
Yesterday was Matt's mum's birthday, so we went out for lunch to celebrate and then gathered with a bunch of other family members at Matt's parents' place yesterday evening for cake and icecream.
And then today was my appointment, and that's about it!
Tomorrow I have a hair appointment, and I'm tossed up about what to do at it. I've been avoiding cutting my hair shorter because I didn't know if my face would swell a lot with this pregnancy, but it hasn't and I'd like it to be cute and swishy. At the same time though, I like my long hair. Hmm.
Well I had better finish this up. I have a lot to do, and yet I think I'd rather nap, so I'm off to bed for a bit. I probably won't post again before Christmas, so MERRY CHRISTMAS everyone! Have a safe, joyous, wonderful holiday eating turkey, spending time with family, and (most importantly) remembering and giving thanks for the birth of Jesus Christ, who made this season, and all good things, possible.
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