Lady in waiting

This morning after my shower I started compiling a list of things in my head. I was feeling a little crabby and I went downstairs immediately after and started rattling them off to Matthew. It's basically what I perceive to be my "rights", being 41 weeks pregnant and all.

I reserve the right to...

-wear track pants instead of jeans, and go out in public like that
-cancel plans for visitors to come over simply because I don't feel like having company
-kick the dog out of the chair I want to sit in, even if he was fast asleep spread-eagle on his back looking so cute
-not WANT to make dinner, even if I still WILL make dinner. I'm not complaining or anything, I just reserve the right to not want to do it.
-not do one ounce of cleaning or even tidying, and spend my entire day doing random things that are completely unnecessary but good for my sanity. Mostly lazy things.
-not answer the phone, simply because I can't get there in time. And no, it doesn't mean I've gone into labour if we don't answer the phone.
-not answer the phone simply because I don't feel like forcing myself to smile and be social and polite. Trust me, it's better that I don't answer it sometimes!
-feel frustrated and mad when every cramp I get turns out to be a braxton hicks contraction, and every sharp jolt of pain turns out to be the baby readjusting his little head so that it pushes a little bit more on my bladder. Why can't all these pains LEAD TO SOMETHING???

That's about all I've got for now. It's not even that extensive a list, it's just what has occurred to me over the last 6 hours. I'm not feeling crabby now, and I refrain from putting "being crabby to all and sundry" on the list because I don't think that's a right that anyone should have, regardless of their situation, but sometimes it just hits me and I'm glad that it's usually when no-one else is around. Except Matt. He knows how to handle my crabbiness though.

Nothing much is new. A large part of me is posting just so that people don't think my silence is due to labour or a baby or anything. It's really just due to nothingness! Life hasn't been a veil of tears though, it's actually been nice. Here's what I've been up to since my last post:

-Friday we meant to go see Avatar but it was sold out. I rented Fame and watched it and Matt played his video game.

-Saturday I cleaned for hours. Literally, hours. I know it's silly, but I was hoping that once everything in the house was perfect then my body would be like, "Ahhhhhh, that's better. NOW I can have a baby!" but it didn't work! Instead I was just very very sore. Crawling around on the floor setting up the baby swing probably didn't help one bit. BUT the house is clean and feels amazing, and the swing I picked matches our living room perfectly. If I had have thought of picking a swing to match my living room, I'd have picked this one, but I picked the swing I liked best, and it just happened to match, which makes it all the nicer!

-Sunday was a mixed emotions day. I went to church in the morning. I resolved long ago to not go if I was overdue because I didn't want to deal with the people who could put two and two together and realize it's mid-January and my stomach was still "preceding me"...BUT I went anyway, and I'm glad I did. Matthew gave a talk and it was awesome, as usual. He's such a natural orator and teacher. I also really enjoyed Liz M's talk. Then primary was packed...we had 23 kids there, and none were visitors! We were losing Sunbeams left right and centre, and have learned what we need to do to keep them in order and in primary.

The annoying part of Sunday was, of course, related to my still being pregnant. I got 6 "You're still here?!" comments while at church. Actually, within the first 10 minutes of showing up at church! I'm not kidding either, there were 6 word-for-word, honest to goodness, sincere, "you're still here" comments. Part of me hoped that was just something people joked about but it didn't really happen. I think these people must be so far removed from having kids that they have completely forgotten about the urge to bite someone's head off for that remark, but ohhh well, what can I do? My mouth isn't big enough to actually accomplish the act, and it'd look a little funny if I tried anyway. Maybe it'd quiet them up though. (random, I know.) OH...another thing that bugged me about Sunday was the person who insisted to me twice and to Matt once that I'm not REALLY about to have the baby because I haven't dropped at all. I mean, really. Do you need to feel my pelvis? Why would I lie?

The rest of Sunday was really nice though. Matt and I just chilled and enjoyed some quiet time together.

-Monday I went for dinner at Matt's parents, and Joel and Heidi were there. I've really missed them, and I'm so glad they're here for a week yet. I'm a little anxious about the going late thing with them visiting and all, but I'll get to that later.

-Tuesday (yesterday) I looked through some cross-stitching stuff in the morning, and hung out with Heidi in the afternoon. It was fun, we talked, played a board game, went to Fabricland, had lunch. Then last night I puttered around meaning to make it downstairs to spend time with Matt but by the time I walked down there at 8:45 I was almost falling over I was so tired. I've been napping during the day lately and apparently I can't function without that sleep!

That brings us to today. Matt is working from home because he's my hero and he knows I'm more motivated to do things (ANYthing) when he's home. So I'm writing a blogpost, then I think I'll nap, and then take care of dinner. I'm starting to think Matthew got the better end of the stick with this whole dinner thing. A week now, and I'm still making it! Except he was kind and deep-fried my fish for me last night because I hate using the deep-fryer. It was so tasty and sinful. And the night before we were at his parents, so I didn't make dinner then either. (AND I just found out we're going over again for dinner, and Joel's cooking. Hurray!)

I wish with every ounce of me that I was feeling as "ready to pop" as people think I am, but, to me anyway, there's nothing pointing towards this baby coming soon. As I mentioned before, my stomach pains have all been non-real-contraction-oriented. I'm tired, but that's nothing new. The baby is engaged, but he has been for more than a month (5 weeks in fact.) My feet are swelling more which is supposed to be a good sign, but EVERYthing is supposed to be a good sign. I don't know what I'll tell my midwife when I see her next. Is there even any point in rattling off how I'm feeling? The fact is, he'll come when he comes and there's not a darn thing I can do about it!

I'm starting to feel really anxious though. Each day that passes without him coming increases the likelihood of needing an induction and that really upsets me for a few reasons. First, then there's no way I'll be able to deliver at home. I wouldn't even START at home. Also, induced deliveries are harder, more painful, and greatly increase the chance of needing pain meds, assisted deliveries using forceps/vacuums, and needing a c-section. All things I'm averse to doing (home deliveries have none of those, they'd all be cases of me going to the hospital.)

Also, if I don't have the baby by Monday, Joel and Heidi won't get to see him at all. Or, at least not until he's way older than a newborn, because they probably won't be back any time soon, and the soonest we'd visit them is summer.

And then there's the whole, the longer he's in there the bigger he'll be thing. I don't relish the idea of delivering a 9+ lb baby vaginally, and I have never really expected him to be small, so the more time passes, the more worried I get that he'll be huge. My sister's 2nd baby was 10 days overdue, and he was 10 lb's even. 10 lb's!!! She had to have a c-section. And 10 days overdue is only 4 days away. I can feel the tension building up inside of me just thinking about it. I HAVE to have gone into labour by then, right? Please, baby, don't make me do another Sunday at church. I'm begging you.

Anyway, there are all of my woes.

AAAAAAND because pictures are fun and I don't post enough of them, here are some photos for your viewing pleasure.

First I have to tell you about my toilet though. Last night out of nowhere it broke underneath me. I hadn't moved a millimetre, the piece just popped out and fell to the floor. I nearly fell with it! Honestly, if I had been in a really emotional mood at the time I'd probably have cried and attributed it to my weight gain and how big I am, but realistically, it had nothing to do with that. Matt weighs more than me, and it didn't break for him. I guess it was just...time. So here's a picture, because it was actually quite hilarious once the shock wore off.

The broken seat, in all its glory.

Now, you might notice that the other side looked far more likely to break. We thought so too. It tried breaking once, but Matt repaired it with super glue and this handy green stuff called Green Stuff. Here's a close-up of the repair:

What a handyman my husband is!

But alas, there was no warning. And now we have to try to get this old seat off so we can put on the new one. It's no easy task, when the screws are so rusted that they actually crumble at the first sight of a screwdriver. I stripped them pretty well. Oops.

So the worst part of all about this was that the nearest usable toilet is in the basement. Not usually a big deal during the day, because the living room, where I spend most of my time, is half a flight of stairs from either one, but at night I was most upset. See, when I get up in the middle of the night, it's really hard to walk. My muscles have been relaxing for hours and do not co-operate very well. I try to avoid doing stairs unless I'm really thirsty because, quite honestly, I'm afraid of falling down them. So last night I resorted to using half of a toilet seat. I wouldn't recommend it. It was...difficult.

And now that I've tarred my good name forever by talking about something as taboo as where we go to the bathroom, I'll talk about cheerier things! AKA the nursery.

It's been done for a while now but our fancy camera has been at the office, so I haven't taken any photos. Then today I said, "to heck with it!" and pulled out the cheap little kodak we have here and snapped some photos. The quality is terrible, but oh well. You get the picture I'm sure (ha, no pun intended!)

The room from the doorway.

It's a rather little room for all that furniture, but I think we've done pretty well keeping it clutter-free and uncramped. I feel comfortable in it at least, and that's the most important part, because once the baby is old enough to remember the room, the crib, change table and rocker will be gone.

Note also that the colour is pretty washed out. It actually has a warmer feel, it's just, this is a really crummy camera.

Love this. The farm bedding set I picked out, and the glider and footstool Matt and his parents got me for Christmas.

Baskets for diapers, shampoo and other hygiene needs, washclothes and hats. Bottom left is FULL of wipes I was given as shower gifts, and blankets that I'm most likely to use day to day.

Books, stuffed animals with no home yet, extra diapers, toys galore, bibs, a few clothes, bumbo, you name it, it's in there.

That's pretty much it. The room is half the size I'd want it to be, but whenever I think that I just remind myself how the majority of the population was living in 2 room cabins 200 years ago. Seriously, the houses we live in nowadays are the biggest I think the world in general has ever seen. 1100 square feet plus a basement for 2 people? Ridiculous. We're spoiled really.

Anyway, I'm going to go. The photo thing took longer than I thought and I think I'm going to have to forego my nap again today. SAD! Oh well.

And hey, here's something exciting. At the rate I've been posting lately, the next time I post it'll probably be with news of a new little boy filling the space in the nursery above! My heart leaps just thinking about it!!