I'm writing this post largely to distract myself from the extreme need to go pee right now! Too much information, I'm sure, but there it is. To get to the bathroom, I need to go through Elijah's room, and he has been sleeping terribly today, so I'm not willing to wake him up to go pee.
About that, though. What is UP with this kid?! He slept fine last night, but all this morning was acting so very tired and snuggly. He almost fell asleep watching tv, eating lunch, and resting on some pillows Matt threw on the floor for him. Too cute!
So I put him down to bed at 1pm, hoping it'll mean a great nap this afternoon, as it's been at least a week since I've been able to take a nap when he does and I'm feeling exhausted and a little sick today.
40 minutes in? He's crying. Wait, not just crying, wailing, so I go in to soothe him, and ohhhh the tears! It was so sad. I walk away with him still crying though, after recognizing that my being there won't help him sleep more, and after another 10 minutes of crying off and on, he falls back asleep. For another 25 minutes. Cries, sleeps, and repeats that cycle 3 times in 15 minutes. He's now been down for almost 3 hours, and I think this has been his longest cry-free stretch yet, but he's up to 7 wake-up-and-cry's. It's heartbreaking, AND frustrating!
I'd say it's a one-shot deal, but he's been doing this for a week now. Screaming when we put him down (except at night, he's fine at night), sleeps until his first sleep cycle is over (20-35 minutes usually) and then wakes up screaming and not ready to be done sleeping. Usually he'll fall back asleep after 15 minutes or so and then have another 2 false-starts before being up for the day. Today is only different in that he's kept falling back asleep, and has now been down 3 hours instead of 2.
I'm getting so tired though! Yesterday I threw caution to the wind and went out running errands all morning and in to the afternoon. I figured that, if he wasn't going to sleep well anyway, then why stay home beyond 11am, for fear that he'd sleep in the car? Maybe it'd be a GOOD thing to sleep in the car!
Le sigh.
But there, that's my new sleep struggle. There always IS one, I'm just getting used to that now. And it really wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't upset by how upset HE gets. I don't know how to help the poor guy though.
Today I had my midwives appointment and everything went well. We talked about my pelvic floor muscles aching already, and whether or not I'm carrying twins. I still don't think I am, but I have this nagging fear that was strengthened yesterday when I felt the height of my fundus and realized it had reached my belly button (typically happens at 20 weeks) when I was just 17w5d. Carrying big? Whoa, maybe it's twins. So I brought it up, and we checked. Sure enough, my MW found the height of my fundus to be measuring one cm above my belly button, which seemed increasingly alarming until we checked the measurement from my pubic bone to the height of the fundus, and it was only 19cm. The conclusion? I have a shorter torso, babying is growing upwards more than outwards, my uterus is all, "This is old hat!" and is getting a little excited about growth, and really, I measured a week ahead with Elijah consistently, so all is well. No more fears of twins. :)
Then we checked my blood pressure (110/70) and listened to baby's heart beat. It was so cool hearing the little movements via the doppler, and twice I felt a movement at the same time I heard it. Baby's heart rate was hovering around 130bpm, so I asked my MW is she thought there was anything to that old wives tale about heart rates, and she said not until the end of the pregnancy. Right now boys and girls measure about the same, and the only reason the heart beats faster is because it's smaller, so by the end, once girls actually ARE smaller than boys on average, you'll notice the difference, but until then, not so much.
That's okay, I don't have much longer to wait and wonder anyway. I'm going for my ultrasound in 1 week! This time next week I will (*hopefully*) know if this baby is a "he" or a "she." I'll be wrong, just watch, but I've really been feeling over the last week that it's a girl. We'll see.
Okay, I really don't know how much longer I can wait to go to the bathroom. I considered calling my mother-in-law at 3:30 so she could come over here and I could run to her house to go pee (we live next door) but I figured Elijah would be up soon. Not so much. Ahhhhh...
OH! He's awake, he just cried. Happy day!!!
**post edit - he wasn't awake, he had just cried out and went back to sleep again. So I snuck in to go pee anyway, and noticed that he had thrown up at least twice in his crib, and then fallen back asleep with his hair in it. SAD! My poor, little, sick boy. He is still sleeping now, almost 4 hours later, and Matt has said he'll come home from work for the evening, and then run back out at 7 for the previous commitment he had. Hopefully, it won't take longer than an hour.**
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