You know how some days are make-up days? Well, that's what I call them, anyway. They're the days where you feel so crummy and a big part of you wants to sit around in track pants and a baggy t-shirt while you watch Jane Austen movies and eat disgusting amounts of of junk food, but you know that it'd make you feel partly worse and yucky to do so, so instead you put on your nicest clothes and take the time to put on make-up (and I don't mean I'm-going-to-Walmart make-up, I mean the real deal) and feel a little better about yourself because, hey. You might feel like crap, but you're sure as heck not going to look like it!
Well, today was one of THOSE days. Where I had the choice between dressing up or dressing down. I opted for dressing up, and it really did make me feel better. That is, until I read a blog where the momma's baby died of SIDS at 4.5 months, and I felt my chest constrict, and that familiar friend, Fear, settle in as I glanced at my perfect little 5-week-old daughter and thought surely that will never happen to her.
And now I'm fighting the urge to go and take off all the make-up so that I can cry without worrying about smearing my eye-liner. I hate worries!
You know what? No. I'm NOT taking off my make-up. Because worrying is useless, and I need to remember that.
Yesterday I came across a blog where the author had posted a list about worrying, and I'm going to repost it here, to remind myself of it all, and PULL MYSELF TOGETHER!
"Worry is a control issue.
Worry is wasted energy.
Worry is consuming and unhealthy.
Worry is a joy thief.
Worry is the interest that we pay today on tomorrow’s problems.
Worry makes everything seem bigger than it really is." (borrowed from this blog, with just one line removed that I don't agree with.)
I worry about things ALL THE TIME. It's amazing how often I waste time, energy, and moments with worry. I seriously need to let go of it all and just enjoy life. Be happy. Bask in the beautiful life I have been given, and count each and every blessing without allowing myself to feel fear and anxiety that these blessings will be taken away.
So, on that note, I'm going to do some comfort things right now. I'm going to throw in a good movie, make a hot chocolate (yeah, don't ask about that weight loss thing today, mmmkay??) and snuggle my baby. All things that will make me happy, while I sit around dressed up with my smokin' hot make-up on. (Oh, and my new hair-cut, which actually does help to improve my mood!)
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