Go Figure

Being rather anxious about my progesterone and estrogen levels, I decided to go today to have my bloodwork done rather than on Monday, even though Saturday is my lab's busiest day of the week...

...only to find after a while of waiting that my doctor ordered the usual gamut of pregnancy tests and completely neglected to mention the progesterone and estrogen! So no, they weren't tested. And yes, I nearly cried, right there in the middle of the lab.

I went and sat back down, trying to ignore the sinking feeling in my chest.

I decided to have the rest of the samples drawn today anyway, because I'd already waited a while. But inwardly, I was pretty disappointed and worried. Okay, so maybe it was more like seethingly angry and panicking. Angry because this requisition took a lot of time to get yesterday and it wasn't even what I needed, and panicking, because it felt in that moment like it'd be too late by late Monday, which would be the earliest I could get in again, and SURELY this pregnancy would not last until Monday...

I know, such gloomy thoughts! I don't know how I kept it together, but I did. I think it helped that there was someone I knew from church working there that day, she actually ended up doing the blood draw, and she was empathetic and sweet.

I did eventually lose it in full force at home on my dear husband, who bewilderedly tried to console me while I sobbed into a pillow. It was a glorious scene.

I'm happy to say that I've cheered up since, but this is so confusing and frustrating. It's hard to remain optimistic, but I know I need to, because, why borrow trouble? If something is going to go wrong, I would want to have enjoyed now rather than preemptively worrying about it. I'm pregnant now, regardless of the future. I'm just going to be thankful for that.

An upbeat attitude isn't going to stop me from taking repeated pregnancy tests for reassurance behind Matt's back though, now is it?! My count is up to 7, and I have one left I'm saving for tomorrow morning.

I'm rambling now, I'm sorry. It's probably because I'm distracted by Groundhog Day in the background! I'm going to wrap this up now!