Going, going, gone!

My house sold.

Whoa, wait, can that be true? It doesn't feel true. Maybe saying it again will help?

My house sold.

Nope. Nadda. No feelings tied to that apart from disbelief.

But it's true, and I need to keep telling myself it's true over and over so that I can actually manage to wrap my head around it!

It's not like the house was even for sale that long! It felt like a long time, but really, we listed it in August, and now it's January, so...what, 5 months? Not bad! Granted, we had a lot of showings, like, between 10 and 15, and most houses in our neighbourhood were selling within 3 weeks of listing, but I'm not complaining. I'm just trying to trust that it's happening at the time that is the best for us.

Apparently they had the offer first thing Sunday morning, but our real estate agent knows that we don't do business, shop, having showings, etc. on Sundays, so that good man waited until first thing this morning to call with the offer.

The funny thing is, as he was calling our house with the offer, Matt and I were driving in the car. Well, that's not the funny thing, but this is the conversation we had while driving:

Me: Maybe we'll get an offer today! (I've been saying this for 2 days now...)
Matt: Yup, maybe.
Me (after a bit of silence): But probably not.
Matt: No, probably not. It does feel like it'll never happen though, doesn't it?
Me: Totally, especially after so many showings. It's best to not get our hopes up.

Okay, not so funny in print, but still, I find it funny that our real estate agent was trying to call our house at that very moment. What followed was a conversation all about how nothing in life feels like it will ever happen until it happens, and I've been thinking about that a lot today, as a result.

When we were engaged, it felt like we'd always be engaged.

When we were trying, it felt like I'd never get pregnant.

When we were adopting, it felt like we'd never get The Call.

When I was in school full-time, it felt like (feels like...) I'd never graduate.

Now that Elijah is almost 1, even with a year's worth of growth behind him, it feels like he'll never be anything but what he is right now.

It felt this morning like our house would never sell, and now it has.

Instead, it now feels like we'll never actually move.

It feels like I'll never get pregnant again.

It feels like I'll never get older, like I'll never get thinner, like life has just been frozen, and it would be impossible to change it.

I don't mean to be depressing, it's just how it FEELS. Well, most of the time, anyway. See, when we were adopting, I daydreamed about it a lot and had an idea of how it would go, so sometimes I could have said, "Yes, I can picture it happening!" but really, no. If it had have happened, then it'd be surreal just like this is.

Which makes me think we can't possibly prepare for life, both the good and bad. Even if we knew it was coming, and WHEN it was coming, it wouldn't help. In fact, it might make it harder, because it'd make the days leading up to it oh so long.

Like, with wanting to get pregnant again. If I knew I would, and WHEN I would, then I might be sad with how long I had to wait. Or excited that it'd be NEXT WEEK (I wish....ha.) I think I don't actually want to know, though, because it seems less exciting that way.

Anyway, I have to apologize, as none of this is coming across how I mean for it to.

Right now, life feels great, and exciting, like one big adventure. I can't wait to see what the next month and half holds until we move, and what life will look like in our apartment. I can't wait to see how school is going to be (I start tomorrow!) and I can't wait to graduate in June. I can't wait for Elijah to wake up from his nap so we can go sign papers, and I can't wait to go out for dinner to celebrate.

This is good timing for us. I can feel it. Heavenly Father knows what he is about. I just have to remember that, and let go of my own schedule (in ALL things...)