I don't know about anyone else, but I've heard enough stories of women getting kicked out of places simply for nursing (even if they're covered!) to take notice and be prepared for the possibility that it could be me someday. It makes me so upset, because it such an essential part of life, and some people look down on it as if it's the most disgraceful thing, to nurse your child. I understand that bre.asts are a taboo subject, but if you can't think of anything else when you see a woman nursing her child, then I think that a person needs to look more inwardly, rather than blame the mother for nursing her child in front of them. But that's just me.
What also upsets me is what some mothers will do to avoid offending someone, and what women are sometimes subjected to in a bid to keep out of the public eye while nursing. For example, I have a friend who, with her first baby, would bring baby and nursing pillow to the bathroom of a restaurant, sit on the toilet, and nurse her baby. That's just...gross. I don't even want to think about putting my hands near my baby's mouth or my own nip.ple after touching who knows what in a public bathroom.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not so completely feminist about it that I walk around the mall nursing completely uncovered, and stick it to anyone who tells me to do otherwise. I think there is a happy medium to be found, and I am a big big fan of nursing covers like the ones sold by Udder Covers (who, by the way, offers you a one-time-free nursing cover if you have the right code...which you can google to get. They're great!) I'm also pretty good at knowing what to wear so that when I pull my shirt up, my entire midriff is not exposed from the side where the nursing cover doesn't cover. I'll nurse in a mother's room if it's clean and not dark and dingy, and I ask for a booth in a restaurant so that when I nurse my baby, I am tucked away in a corner, and not at a chair in the middle of the dining room.
I feel like I am very respectful about not stepping on anyone's toes as I feed my babies (plural, because I nursed Elijah for a year, and am currently nursing Abigail) so when and if the day comes that somebody complains about my doing so, I want to be prepared, and not get flustered, upset, red in the face, and beaten down. Because that's what happens when I'm faced with confrontation, and I hate it!
I've been doing some research and have printed off a screen shot, link, and excerpts from the Ontario Human Rights Commission's code (...of human rights...) I love this code, and am so glad I live in a province that spells it out so clearly. Apparently only Ontario and British Columbia have explicitly mentioned pregnancy and breastfeeding in their codes, and I think all provinces need to revise their codes to include it. I think most states in the US have a similar code, and I'm so grateful to live in a day where people stand up for human rights and equality.
Here are some of my favourite excerpts of the code:
"As noted above, pregnancy includes the post-natal period, which includes breastfeeding. Breastfeeding is a natural part of child-rearing, and so is integrally related to the ground of sex, as well as to family status. Numerous studies have demonstrated the benefits of breastfeeding for mothers, children, and their communities, in terms of physical and emotional health and development. Women should not be disadvantaged in services, accommodation or employment because they have chosen to breastfeed their children. Nor should women be harassed or subjected to negative treatment because they have chosen not to breastfeed their children. When this Policy refers to discrimination on the basis of pregnancy, it includes discrimination on the basis of breastfeeding.
Breastfeeding includes pumping or expressing milk, as well as nursing directly from the breast. Women choose to breastfeed their children for varying lengths of time, and should not be exposed to negative comments or treatment because, for example, they continue to breastfeed their toddlers.[11]
Sometimes women are discouraged by others from breastfeeding in public places because of concerns that it is indecent. Breastfeeding is really a health issue, and not one of public decency. Women should have the choice to feed their babies in the way that they feel is most dignified, comfortable and healthy," and,
"Section 1 of the Code prohibits discrimination in “services, goods and facilities” against women who are pregnant and breastfeeding. This includes educational institutions, hospitals and health services, insurance providers, public places like malls and parks, public transit, and stores and restaurants. This means that women who are pregnant, or who are accompanied by their babies to a restaurant or a theatre, cannot be denied service or access unless there is a bona fide reason for doing so. This also means that women have a right to nurse undisturbed, and cannot be prevented from breastfeeding a child in, for example, a public area or restaurant. They also cannot be asked to move to a more “discreet” area to breastfeed a child, or to “cover up”. Complaints from other persons will not justify interfering with a woman’s right to breastfeed."
That last part is the real deal-breaker quote that I'm happy is spelled out so clearly.
I hope I never need to pull these quotes out of my diaper bag, but I'm glad that I have them just in case. I KNOW that I'd just end up getting upset and start fuming, and how are you supposed to tell someone that you can't be kicked out of somewhere without actually having proof?
The thing that kills me is that some people think it's indecent to expose children to the act of breastfeeding. Like, really? Have you walked by a lingerie store in the mall? And you think me sitting here, completely covered and nursing a baby is indecent? What really upsets people is that kids then ASK what the person is doing and, heaven forbid, a parent has to explain something that involves mentioning the word bre.ast. It drives me crazy, how parents nowadays are willing to let schools teach their children about things like se.xual education so that they don't have to have the task of talking about an awkward subject, and then get upset when they need to explain something as simple, natural, and good as BF'ing.
Rant over. :)
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