Weight Gain: Roughly 28lb's
Maternity Clothes: ...are getting too small. There's this pair of pants I can't wear because it cuts into the belly and the legs are too tight for my ultra-swollen, water-retentive legs. Also, a lot of shirts are getting too short.
Symptoms: I don't know how to answer this one this week. Let's just say OF COURSE I'm feeling "symptoms of being pregnant," what 39-weeks-pregnant person wouldn't?!
Sleep: Ahhh sleep. The whole reason this post is late-in-coming in the first place. I, for one, am sleeping fine. Yes, I get up 3 times a night to go pee, and yes I wake up to roll over all the time, but I've become a pro at falling back asleep quickly, so I barely notice it. Elijah, on the other hand, decided that now, at the end of my pregnancy, would be a good time to start crying out in the middle of the night for apparently no reason, and REALLY crying out, nigh unto screaming bloody murder if he lost his soother. It's quite the ordeal! On Wednesday I was in such a foul mood about it, but I decided it'd be best to not post that grouchy update, and do it later, so here it is. :D
Best Moment of the Week: Matthew's and my date last night is definitely up there, we had such a good time. It was kind of funny to think that it would likely be our last night baby-free like that until I'm done nursing this baby. Also, Matt letting me sleep in from 6:30 until 7:30 Wednesday morning was so nice.
Movement: Yes, and holy hannah, sometimes it HURTS!
Food cravings: Apple juice? Milk? Powerade? OH I know, I'm craving those new Tim Horton's bagels, called Maple Cinnamon French Toast. Toast it with butter and pass me a chocolate milk, and this girl is in heaven.
Gender: A girl! Or at least, she had better be, I've put lots of work into making everything girly! I'm kidding of course (not about the work, but about the 'better be!') I love that we're having a girl, but I'd love it if we had a boy too. Two boys would be so much fun! And our girl can come later (I'm not saying that because I feel that a girl is a must. I just know, for my own reasons, that we'll have a girl someday. If it's not now? Fine by me, I can wait. And enjoy the bliss of two boys!) Oh, and if it's not a girl, but is a boy instead, I'm thinking of the names Ian, Felix, Graeme, Edmund (even though my sister makes fun of this name) or Adam. Because I need to have possibilities!
What I Miss: Energy to play with Elijah. I get jealous when I see people tossing him in the air and kneeling on the floor to play with him. My legs are so swollen that the pressure on the nerves make them feel perma-bruised, and it hurts to do anything.
What I’m Looking Forward To: The next session of General Conference tomorrow (yay!) hitting my due date on Wednesday, the craft show coming up next weekend, and of course meeting this little girl.
Milestones: Hitting single digits this past week. It felt like such a big deal, going from 50 to 40 to 30, and now we're really and truly in the home-stretch. Though it doesn't feel like it, which I talk about more below.
Emotions: Well, over the last few days I've been doing better, but this week has been rough emotionally. I honestly feel like a train wreck of emotions half the time, and Matt is having a hard time with it. I'm like a yo-yo, and he is steady, so when I get him down, and then pop back up, I tend to expect him to pop up too, so when he doesn't, and it takes him a little longer, I get upset again, and yo-yo downwards, and the cycle begins again. It's awful.
Belly Photo:
I'll put up the photo tomorrow, once I get it off of my camera, though I have to warn you, it's not all that impressive. I look big and pregnant, but I don't personally feel like I look ready to pop. My one MW loves my belly, though, and it makes me happy. She says I look all belly (I just figure she hasn't seen my naked thighs or butt yet) and that I have this perfect, round belly. I like it too, so I just say thanks!
Anyway, I was reading something funny today. Although, it's not going to seem funny-haha, but more funny-whoa. Here is a comment I read on a thread from my guilty pleasure, The Bump:
I'm sorry. I'm not due until Wednesday, but I've been miserable all day. I've already cried once, and I feel nautious and icky. So much pressure down there, total period like cramps. I feel your pain. Also, I've been the same 1cm dialated for the past two freakin' weeks! Good luck to us all...
What's so funny about that, you ask? Well, when I first read her comment I thought, "Yep, that's what it feels like to be at the end and not know when the baby is coming. What's she so upset about, though? Her baby will be here so ridiculously soon, why bother stressing about it?" And THEN I realized that she's due on the same day I am, and that MY baby will be here ridiculously soon, and why am I not stressing about it myself?!
It's strange though, because I'm not. I'm nesting, yes. I cleaned for hours this morning, determined to finish certain tasks just because, who knows? But really I don't believe that "Who knows?" thought. It's deceived me before, taught me to not think so much about having everything perfect and ready on the due date or sooner, and then sit and wait FOREVER (really, 13 days) until your baby actually comes.
I mean, I haven't even packed a hospital bag yet, and I'm not remotely upset or stressed about it.
Is there something wrong with me? Am I just in complete and utter denial? I kind of feel like I am, most of the time. I think about having the baby not in terms of labour, delivery, pain, baby, being a mother to a second sweet child, etc. I think about having the baby more in terms of not swelling, not having sulphur burps, not weighing the same as my husband, wearing my wedding rings, and being able to work out. And I know that that seriously smells of ingratitude and complaining, but I swear it's not. It's just, my mind does not even GO THERE. It just doesn't go to sleepless nights, nursing, double strollers and adoring strangers. Weird, huh? It's like I'm not really about to have a baby at all. Like, to the point where sometimes I do actually start to worry that this baby must be destined to die in utero or L & D simply because I can't picture life WITH her, so I must just have to live life WITHOUT her. Morbid, I know, and conflicting. It's a puzzle to me, too.
I had this dream a couple nights ago, and in this dream I'd had our baby girl via an induction and c-section, and I remembered nothing about the experience. Our girl was small, tiny even, with 1-inch long spiky dark hair, and she looked just like Elijah. I was struggling the dream, trying to make sure her name was really the right name for her before we told everyone what her name was. I didn't manage to solve the puzzle before waking up, but it was a nice dream that made me happy.
Anyway, I'm going to wrap this up. I just noticed that I'm sitting her with my head relaxed back as far as it'll go while typing, mostly because I'm tired and don't want it to fall forwards. At least, I think that's the reason. Can you really think of a reason for why your body is all of a sudden in a position that's not normal? Is it a form of sleep-walking? Hmm.
Anyway, that's all for now. 4 days until DD, and 17 or less until Baby Girl (because I refuse to go more overdue than I went with Elijah.) WEIRD!
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